


What could have been, could be, and might be

by fandoms_stole_my_sanity, TheParable



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (for both of them), Abusive Past, But stil, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Sick!Hux, TLJ Spoilers, abuse of the force, emotional teens, its us writing how we think kylux may be canon, pre movies, pre tfa, some physical abuse?, theyre murdering fascist dirt bags, vindication, weve evolved from rp to story-writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-17 04:50:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13069497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandoms_stole_my_sanity/pseuds/fandoms_stole_my_sanity, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheParable/pseuds/TheParable
Summary: Some in our fandom want kylux to become canon, some dont. For me and my best friend its already become canon because we're impatient and Kylux has been the passion that united us even more than we already have been. The release of TLJ has given us a new spark to write for this ship and our warranting for all the things that happened in the last jedi.In short, describes the feelings, thoughts and relationship before and throughout the two movies. Basically only focuses on Hux and Kylo Ren, their backstories, how they deal with their past and each other.Fleshes out some ideas that were a bit cloudy or completely untouched like the stormtrooper program, the building of starkiller base, what time is used etc. (which are speculation, but not unreasonable!)Further than TLJ will probably be posted in another work.Written as a two-part story, like an evolved rp. Just read it if you dont know what I mean~[If you notice anything canon divergent, please tell me. For instance, I have not read the phasma novel and only know the rough story, but I want this to be absolutely plausible, which is why we're putting the post-tlj part into another work!]





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Bits and pieces of their first meeting and further development, heed the warnings.  
> Bold is fandoms_stole_my_sanity, simple is my text.

Armitage Hux had always been privileged. The simple existence of his father had guaranteed him a place in the ranks of the first order. It's all he had ever known. All he wanted to know, sharing the first orders dedication to wipe out the Republic. The hatred. It was part of his characteristic to loathe disorder; and that was something the galaxy was currently part of.. A lifelong dedication to finally bring order to the galaxy. And.. the power and might that came with it? He'd come to crave it in the future. But for now, Armitage Hux was a fresh young officer on a star destroyer belonging to his father, recruiting new stormtroopers. Kidnapping them from their families. It had struck him as unfair, but it was for a greater cause. It was excusable. He had a plan, too.... but that would have wait until he was older. Him, a mere 19 year old aboard a star destroyer, was going about his daily life when he heard the news. Snoke had brought in a new student, who was currently in the medbay. Another force user, it was rumoured... and hux felt something like excitement. Snoke had never appeared before him, and he was too low a rank to be able to see even his holoprojection. But he had been granted permission to be the one to supervise his medical treatment, as the new student did not know how to handle the tech. Standing in front of the door, hux breathed out with his fists clenched. He was... sort of scared. What would this student be like? He was told he was.. younger than him by four years.  
  
**For months, he had internally called himself Kylo Ren. Though Luke and the other students preferred to say Ben, it never felt right. Not anymore, anyhow. Ben Solo died one night when his master tried to kill Kylo in his sleep. A master he had already replaced with a more mythical creature appearing to Ren in his dreams through the Force. A supreme leader which also was a supreme master, albeit cruel. But Ren told himself that cruelty only made him stronger.**

  
Now, he was sitting there on the medical cot, disoriented yet completely focused. He was in the clutches of his new master now, Luke presumed dead. Kylo hadn't stayed behind to check the debris after setting the Jedi temple ablaze.  
Someone was said to come for him, an officer. It made Kylo agitated, he was more than just a simpleton and they sent a lowly officer his way? Kylo shook his head, telling himself to stay focused. Surely his master had his reasons to bring Ren here and not aboard Snoke's own cruiser.   
The former Ben Solo turned his head to gaze at the door. He could feel a nervous presence.

 Hux wasn't nervous, not very. He was.. excited. And wanted to be surprised when he walked into the medbay, a boy younger than him sitting on the cot. "I'm here to supervise your medical treatment." Hux said, sounding as bland as he possibly could. He knew from his father that it was important to show as little emotions as possible, so that was what he did. Keeping his back straight and his eyes cold, the young officer walked to the diagnostics data pad. Petty errands like these were not befitting to him, but even for him, seeing someone like the legendary skywalker was such a treat.

**Ren was taken aback by the sight of the ginger. He hadn't expected someone so young, Hux's stern appearance made him appear much older. "I'm fine." Ren replied, not taking into account for the mental shock of Luke standing above him with his lightsaber turned on and rage in his eyes. Luke... His former master and uncle, the very son to Darth Vader, had attempted to kill him. "Who are you...?" Ren added, sizing Hux up.**

"Officer hux." Hux didnt give Kylo a single glance. "You have several burn marks on your arm that should be treated." His initial thought was revolving around the fact that this student was so young, so untrained, so lanky. Disproportionate at points. Sort of awkward, undisciplined.  _Was this really the right person?_

**He looked down at his arm, frowning. He had begun to shut out the pain as a part of the training Snoke had given him through his dreams. Ren wanted out of here, he wanted to go to his master and begin the promised training. To become like Vader, if not even greater. "Why can't the medical droids do it? I don't have all day." He was too restless to remain here, awaiting Snoke's command. And he was all too aware of certain parts of his face was out of proportion. Hux on the other hand was a model of perfection. Ren already hated the officer.**

The ginger finally glanced at Ben, taking note of his clothes, appearance. His long nose and prominent ears were some of his facial features, something that instantly became visible. "I've been told you dont know how to function medical droids."  _And judging by his looks, I'd say that myself._  Hux operated a few commands as the medical droids began to float to the slouching teenager. "The bathroom is to your right, the medical droids will cease when they are finished. Do not interrupt their work." Hux said in an almost commanding tone as he turned to leave the room again.

**Ren opened his mouth to shoot back a comment, but held back. He better save that rage for when it was needed. No, he really didn't like the ginger. The fact he was so young and yet an officer made him feel...inadequet. He was so much stronger, and Hux dared to command him. Feeling spite, Ren gestured his hand, the automatic door slammed shut before Hux had the chance to leave. "I decide when the droids are ready with me, soldier."**

"If you wish to have half closed scars, then so be it." Hux said with a snarky undertone as he stiffened. This reminded him of home and it made his skin crawl. At least he couldn't say he wasn't excited. So the force was real, hm? He hadn't noticed someone up in his head before, but now it was jarringly obvious. Hux had a strong will, stronger than Rens current untamed power as he forced that... uncanny presence out of his mind, cutting Ren off from his thoughts. "Are we done here? I'm quite busy."

**If Ren knew how, he would have ensured Hux stood on his knees by now, clutching his throat. But all he could do was to boil in anger at Hux's comment, rising hastily up from the cot. The table containing sharp tools rattled in his seething fury. "Learn to respect the apprentice of Supreme Leader or I will ensure you will be nothing but scars!" Using the force, he ventured into Hux's mind. Now get out of my sight! You don't want Master Snoke to be mad at you for delaying me.**

Hux pushed him out with a strong wall of steel and determination. His mind had always been sharp, and this brat was untrained. He couldn't take orders from him. But hux valued his life a little too much to take the risk. "Duly noted." In the future, the man standing behind him will possess the training, skill and raw force that could force him into Hux’s mind, but for now... hux had fresh wounds that reminded him to keep his guard up.

**Eventually, Hux would become the only person who could ground Ren, whose snarkness would make Snoke's hound turn his head away. But for now, they were both teens, both carrying fresh wounds that would never heal. "Get out, then." Ren waved his hand, agitated. He could sense that he was soon to be shipped away from this cruiser and he couldn't wait.**

Letting the door open and whirr shut behind him, the officer grimaced. When he was almost back to his workoffice on the bridge, he finally allowed himself to breathe calmly again. He wasnt going to lie to himself. He had been a little scared, but that was something he had to fight. He would get nowhere being scared, the ginger repeated to himself as he thought of that arrogant prick he had met. Such anger issues wouldnt be abided in a student of his... But he wasnt at his goal yet. For now, he was a simple officer.

~~  
  
After several years, Hux eventually forgot about the young boy that had stayed in the ship he was employed at for a few nights. His plans were far too ambitious to allow even the slightest thought of distraction inside his stressed mind. And recently, he had worked his way up to lieutenant. Not far for the amount of time, but a very recent event was ensuring his promotion. At 23, Hux’s father became “sick” and perished. It was a shaky decision, but promoting Armitage to his fathers rank to handle the affairs proved to be a wise one. He handled them with expertise and with ruthlessness, even after his father died.   
Hux had not felt anything but accomplishment the day he killed his father. He had no more use for the old man who was only in his way, and now, Hux could finally have his ideas implemented in the order he gave his life to. The death of Hux Sr. had been a rumor floating around the ship, and despite barely touching Hux's conscience, it had heavy effect on his subconscience, and he was beginning to sleep less. His emotions were almost out cold and his mind was walled in, closed off and locked up. Similar to his heart. Phasma and he had planned the assassination together. Phasma, someone he trusted, deemed competent, but not ambitious enough for his needs. She would not make competition, but she provided an excellent captain to his troops. And a great assassin, apparently.  
Hearing that Snoke's student would be boarding his ship in a week did not really bother him until he saw said student. It was that selfish little brat from a couple years ago, and he remembered that. They had both acted immaturely and Hux wondered if he had grown at all. Hux, in his simple uniform, went to meet the child-now-grown-man in the shuttlebay, accompanied by two stormtroopers. "I am Major Hux of the First Order and welcome you aboard The Finalizer. " This star-destroyer had always been his favourite one with its exceptional size and speed. It was something to behold, and one day he'd be the one that took control of it..

**Seven years was certainly a vast amount of time, more than needed to make one mature. Kylo Ren, had not quite yet put his emotions at state, he had dicipline, but not in the amount which could compete with Hux.** **  
**His years with Snoke had been harsh, cruel, perverted and calculative. He worshipped Snoke as much as he feared him. His chaotic mind was still a mess, riddled with mayhem and outburts he yet had to control. A single harsh word from Snoke could easily shatter him, and in turn, make Ren destructive.**  
**Stepping down from the shuttle, masked in a helmet and dressed in black, he scanned Hux up and down, still hating him. "Major Hux." Ren stated, stopping in front of the man that now was just barely shorter. "You look the same."****

"I'll take that as a compliment." Hux said, the barriers around his mind thick in hopes that Ren would not be able to break through them and read his thoughts. Truth be told, his thoughts were not organised right now, something that angered him greatly. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw his dead father before him, and every time he opened them, he chided himself for even the slightest hint of regret. The death of his father had been- Hux cut his own thoughts off as he turned to escort the student into the main body of the ship. "I never got your name, sir." He said, trying to sound as respectful as possible. He wasnt the disrespectful little child anymore. But if Ren proved himself to be immature, that respect could easily be lost.

**Ren sensed the conflict brewing in Hux, but the walls kept him outside. For now. He could break through eventually, it had only been four years after all, but he was growing stronger by the week. Each lesson with Snoke empowered him. "Kylo Ren. I heard your father...passed away." He added, his metallic voice carried a hint of knowing or maybe just pure mockery? "Should I offer my condolences, or just ignore his previous existance?"**

"Acknowledge and move on." Hux retorted, not in the mood to talk with this edgy little teenager about his father’s imminent demise. "I will show you to your quarters and the bridge." _The rest you'll hopefully be able to find by yourself._  The ginger major had a fast pace, but he noticed something that annoyed him. The teenager was taller than him now, and it made his day just a little bit darker.

**Ren turned his head to look at Hux, sneering under his helmet. "I certainly intend to go through the entire ship. Looking for any weakness you have missed, Major." He shot back at Hux. The older ginger had a seemingly constant look of constipation, or if he just ate a piece of unripe lemon.**

"I assure you, you will not find any fault." It was not his ship quite yet, but it would be. So Hux took immense care of it and held a better understanding about ships mechanics than Ren did. Huxs back was also far straighter than Ren’s, who seriously needed a discipline lesson.. Guiding Ren down the hall, the major stopped in front of a door. The quarters were big enough, hopefully they would not run into each other.

**Ren unlocked the door, the automatic lights flickering on. Stepping inside, he was surprised to see just how deep his quarters were. Bedroom, office table, a nice wide bed and a lounge corner. Back at Snoke's temple, he scarsely possessed a small bed. This was luxury in a way, but he wouldn't let it get to his head. "This will suffice." He wasn't one to sleep much, Snoke never quite let him. Ren needed to learn how to function on minial food, water and sleep. Four years of torturous training had taught him that.**

"Good. Follow the corridor and take the elevator to the sixty third floor. That is where the bridge is located. I will contact you with the password later on." Hux said cooly, his emerald eyes resting on rens mask. What a ridiculous thing.

**"No." Ren simply stated. "You will show me where the bridge is." He was not, under any circumstances, be told where to go! Especially not by some stone-faced major that was below him in every way. Hux was going to show him, or face the consequences of defying Kylo Ren.**

_Is he incapable of understanding directions?_  hux thought spitefully as he spun on his heel, boots clicking as they made their way down the hall. Apparently, the oaf in the silly mask had no sense of orientation.

**Ren pushed his hand forward, the Force gripping hold of Hux's feet, slamming him face down against the crome floor. His mask made it sound as if he was roaring. "Do not disrespect me! Don't even attempt to try and belittle me! Now, you don't want to make this worse for yourself." Ren warned. He hated Hux for not fearing him, for treating him like nothing. He was Snoke's student that carried reputation and respect. More importantly, he was the heir of Vader.**

Hux let out a surprised yelp when he hit the floor. Ren maybe couldn't feel it, but beside the annoyance grew a small amount of fear that quickly relinquished when ren started whining like a child. Hux bled and bruised easily. Something  his father found out quite early on, something that ren would see when he got to his feet to wipe the speck of blood from his lips. Was this the  _disciplined_  student of snoke?!  _Get out of my head._  hux thought quite forcefully, managing to press ren away. Not out of his mind, but at least make him _know_  that hux would not have some lunatic scrambling in his current chaotic brain. Gods forbid that he saw the past or other things hux was locking away safely. Hux waited if ren had anything else to say, wiping at his lip with his gloved hand. The ginger then continued to walk to the elevator. The stormtroopers on the other hand were scared shitless of this forceuser, and ren would probably hear their loud thoughts.

**Hux walking away didn't make it any better, Ren's sense of humiliation grew despite the scared guards. He clutched his fist, using his powers to fling Hux back against the corridor wall, the Force squeezing tight around the major's throat. He was going to settle it here and now, make Hux really understand what he was dealing with. Ren exit his chambers, walking over to the choking ginger.** **  
**Ren needed to be feared, he craved recognizion like a starving child craved food. If he didn't establish fear and respect, Ren knew too well he would never succeed his goal. He especially needed Hux and his iron willed mind to understand this. "Walking away from me, Hux?"****

Hux's human body was sounding alarms. Not enough air. Panic. But hux tried calming his senses. "You wanted me.. to show you where the bridge was..." he choked, hand at his throat. That would leave a bruise that would take a while to fade. That wasn't good. It distracted him. The wall rested cold against his back as the poor major wondered what he had done wrong now. This time, he had not intentionally mocked him.

**Ren, realizing the error he had made in his hastly action, released Hux completely from his grip. He wasn't going to admit he had acted out in his tarnished self-confidence. He wasn't going to admit that he had mistaken Hux's departure as a sign to follow him to the bridge.** **  
**Were Hux's walls around his mind so tight  that even Ren couldn't penetrate it? The discipline was admirable and Ren loathed it. The sith stopped by the waiting elevator, waiting for Hux to get inside.****

Hux coughed for a few seconds before getting to his feet, brushing his uniform off as he walked to the elevator. There was an unmistakable glare of hatred and anger in his eyes, and maybe just a hint of passing fear. Hux had walls around his deepest thoughts and secrets, but his process was quite loud to hear. It was about all the tasks he had to finish, how he didn't have time for this... how he would have to go to the medbay to have the bruises covered or they'd be bothering him all week. He resisted the urge to touch his neck. The black and blue bruises would come soon enough... "We're here." He said hoarsely as the door opened to the bridge.

**The mask hid Ren's eyes as he took a glance at Hux's neck. He couldn't see much due to the high collar, but a part of him wanted Hux to only blame himself. Yet, Ren acted brashly and he now feared Snoke's wrathful punishment.** **  
**"I see..." Ren stepped onto the bridge, looking about. He didn't bother with the minds of the low ranks, his interest lay in just how chaotic Hux's mind was, the shallow part of it, anyway.** _How can he think in that mess?_**

Hux was on Adderall, little sleep and for the first time a sort of emotion. He was not in any state to clear his thoughts that usually were such a perfect line... "Do you need anything else-" Hux hesitated as he cleared his throat that still felt like it was being crushed, even if it was slowly expanding again. "Lord Ren?" Ren seemed like the appropriate title if they were on similar ranks. But for now, ren was above him. For now.

**"No, I don't need you right now." Ren paused. "I'm pleased with the tour." He walked over to the front of the bridge, eyeing the officers, squinting at the stormtroopers. He had no idea how long he was going to stay, but he might as well investigate every room. Just in case Hux hid something.**

Hux was hiding things physically untouchable as he frowned at Ren. "Very well." Turning to return to his post, Hux was almost steaming with hatred and anger. Once he was far enough to completely catapult him from his mind, he finally let his thoughts free. What a stuck up, arrogant little child. He hasn't changed, that Ren has only gotten stronger. The major still believed him to be ridiculously unqualified to be able to wield such an amount of power!

**Maybe he was unqualified, but he was young and untamed. A rough diamond that needed some polishing. Leaving the bridge, Ren wandered down the steel corridors, opening and closing the doors. Most rooms appeared to be offices and storage rooms. Ren frowned, how was he going to concentrate in this metal beast?**

~~

The floors below and in the haul of the ship were large docks and generators. Many huge halls were used to power the massive ship and make sure it functioned. It took Ren a while to become settled in the ship, and Hux was promoted to admiral. There was a last general standing in his way, but that would be taken care of when the time was right. About two months after his arrival, Ren was ordered to accompany Hux on the procuring of young stormtroopers. Hux was quite nervous about that fact. Usually, everything ran smoothly. But with ren there to interfere.... The admiral was boarding the shuttle to the planet that was currently empty, stormtroopers filling the other deck. Ren was invited to the cockpit with him and the three pilots. "I must ask you not to interfere." Hux said when Ren arrived in the shuttle. Jumping to hyperspace from the finalizer would be simple, but first they'd have to retrieve the young boys and girls before bringing them to _the Absolution_ to start their training..

**"I have no intention to interfere." Ren stated grimly when he came aboard. He was growing restless, and the chance to see another planet, breathe some actual air gave him a slight peace of mind. Cruises such as the Finalizer was alright, but the never ending noises around him provided distractions. And he had often been seen roaming the corridors at night like a wraith.**

"Good." Hux was still sour over the fact that Ren had choked him. But over the weeks, he had found Ren less and less respectable. Sometimes, occasionally, the crew would find cut up machines Or destroyed walls... no doubt from whom they were. The shuttle lifted off and left the finalizer as hux watched the planet grow closer.

**At least Ren was lashing out at the ship, rather then at the admiral himself. Ships could be repaired, while Armitage Hux was a man of far too much value to the First Order. Ren stood with his arms crossed, inspecting Hux rather than the planet. He had come to notice how Hux's mental wall always grew stronger whenever Ren was near. Someday, Ren was going to make that wall crumble.**

Hux was fortified, on guard. He had been getting more sleep since his promotion which made him more alert and far more competent than he already was. The shuttle was pretty modern and you could barely feel it enter the atmosphere as the green planets blue skies enveloped them as they dove deeper. There were no cities on this planet in the unknown regions. Noone came here. Noone would care if four hundred children dissappeared from this world. Hux looked over at the pilot, checking the control panel.

**"Interesting planet." Ren stated more to himself than to Hux. He disliked the fact he had to come along, watching the admiral succeed in his mission, all while Ren remained in a pause, Snoke ignoring his student. Or maybe this was even a part of his training... With the supreme leader, one never quite knew why he did what he did. And Ren, well, he was too intimidated to even attempt to read his master's mind.**

The supreme leader was secretive; and noone was to know what his plans were. The shuttle landed on the outskirts of a town that appeared in the horizon. Hux needed to walk to get into a proper mood, and he enjoyed the psychological horror of having the parents watch the children abducted along the meadows. He was a sadist like that. The doors opened and hux breathed in the fresh air. God, that felt good to do.  The grass was green and it made him think of Arkanis, his home planet, which ruined his mood rather quickly.

**Ren deciding to accompany him most likely didn't help Hux. "You turned foul mooded." The student said, walking right next to Hux. His tall and broad figure made him appear more like a bodyguard to Hux, rather than his superior. The planet was beautiful, gorgeous even. Luke had favoured a planet like this, open space and greenery as far as the eye could see.**

Hux would prefer even a planet of deserts or icescapes. The idyllical beauty of this green planet made him anxious. The utopian fields hid only hatred and negative emotions and expierences... the sun shined upon him as if to spite him, softly falling on his skin as that star almost laughed at him for the memories he was remembering. Hux's mind become even more walled in as he frowned at ren. "We're not here to enjoy luxuries." He stated dryly, his footsteps leaving imprints on the long grass. The village drew closer into view as the stormtroopers stayed close to their admiral. Villagers were standing in the roads, curious to what magical craft had just landed so close to their village. A planet cut off of the galaxies shenanigans, something hux found ideal.

**Ren nearly groaned at the many thoughts swirling around him from the villagers. They couldn't even keep their thoughts controlled, anyless than what a child was able to. "I never mentioned anything about luxuries." Ren corrected, sounding slighly irritated. He sought through the Force, jumping from one child to another, but he couldn't sense the Force in anyone in the village. And even if he had, would he bring the person to Snoke, risking his own position? Or kill them, just to be on the safe side.**

A force user would be a powerful addition to hux's army. Even if it was an unorthodox method and more snokes forte, he doubted the supreme leader would have an interest in someone probably weaker than ren. Hux's shiny boots crunched against the floor as his stormtrooper devision came to a halt behind him as he looked at the villagers who were starting to look rather scared than curious. "Gather up all children from newborn babies to about five years old. And if children younger than eight put up a fight, take them too. Round them up right here and escort them to the shuttle on my order." He commanded his troops who followed their order without a single tone, two staying by his sides with their blasters out.

**The second the troopers advanced, grabbing the children out of the arms of their parents, Ren felt a twitch in the corner of his eye. He felt no remorse for these uncultivated people, they were nothing, but it reminded him of the day Luke came to fetch Ren, said he needed to learn how to control his powers. Ren's thoughts were hastily interrupted, preferring to observe as the troopers aimed and shot at the adults to tried to fight back.**

Hux did not get a single stain on his leather gloves as the children were kept in the arms of some stormtroopers, others, old enough to walk, being pulled by their arms or dragged by their legs. Hux sighed. This would be a very frantic day full of inconveniences as annoying children, but it was something he deemed necessary. For what soldiers were the best than those growing up in the midst of the army they were fighting for? Gaze locked on a child in one of the stormtroopers arms, Hux began going over the shedule. They’d travel across the planet, and their shuttle had a capacity of around threehundred children. To reach their goal for this round, they would have to plan two trips to the finalizer to empty the shuttle. But for now, their job was simply to fly around the planet and deprive it off its offspring with little regard to what kind of impact it will have to their culture. "Lets go." Hux snapped at Ren. The admiral was not in a good mood as they returned to the shuttle with screaming children in bay. One of them looked at Ren, trying to tug at his robe. Even if his words were in a different language, ren would be able to understand his thoughts and abstract impulses.  _"Where am I going....? Father, Mother?"_  Was what the big blue orbs seemed to spell out to ren as the child looked up at him.

**Initially surprised that the child wasn't directly terrified of the man, Ren hesitated before he squat down in front of the child. He knew what it was like, leaving the safety of home for something new, even if he personally hadn't been kidnapped. Keeping the helmet on as his shield against the outside world, Ren spoke slow and calmly. "Don't be afraid. You are destined to bring the First Order into glory, so forget your parents. Forget your past." He sent the words into the boy's head in form of emotions, so that he would understand.**

"Glory...." The Child thought, looking back at the village as it was pushed along. "Alright." It must have been the only positive thought amongst all the children. Maybe the child would grow to become someone special, a strong fighter for the first order. It seemed that he had always longed for adventure, the village only being a prison to him. Who knew how many other children thought like this?? It was rare and special, and if Hux knew, he would show interest. Delivering the children into the shuttle, the craft left the village and slowly took course to the next one.

**Ren was impressed how the child took it so calmly, but once the shuttle would return to the Finalizer, he wouldn't spare that boy, nor any of the kidnapped children a second thought.  He shut out the noises of the wailing infants and toddlers, ignoring the sobbing children as some of them tried to be brave for their siblings. They were all scared, all missing their parents. Some were already damaged due to having witness the death of their parents. In time, however, they would be obedient soldiers with no name, no past, no thought of their own.**

The majority would not even remember their parents, as the large amount was between 1-5 years old, the six to ten being the exceptions. They were faceless and had no individuality from this point on. No difference or exceptions between race or gender. That was the program Hux himself had a part of. Growing in the Academy on Arkanis was a harsh environment, but those were thoughts Hux buried relatively swiftly. The academy there was destroyed, and the absolution was the only place for all these children to go and begin their training to make the perfect soldiers. The shuttle stopped again as they moved to the next village. The procedure ran smoothly, as did the next six. But when they started heading north, the planets culture played a role. The northerners were not as naive as the other villages. Hux noticed this when a spear pierced a procured shield one of the stormtroopers in front of him held. "They seem hostile." Facing Ren, Hux began to feel curiosity. " Lord Ren, I did ask you not to interfere. But if you could take out the warriors of this tribe, I would be grateful." _And I could see what you can do_. Hux wanted to know of what Ren was capable.

**The lightsaber instantly sparked to life, Ren turning his attention to the natives. He was hoping something like this was to happen, the entire journey so far had bored him immensely. The natives aimed their throwing spears at Ren, the man in turn reflecting the primitive weapons with an incredible reflex. When he was close enough to the natives, Ren decided to put on a show. Not to impress Hux, but to show the pale admiral just what kind of force Kylo Ren was. Swirling about, he cut the natives down in pieces, summoning the Force to tear limbs apart with ease, throwing the live ones away if they got too close. _I hope you are enjoying yourself, admiral._**

Hux stood near his wall of stormtroopers, watching ren display his force like a roasted pig on a platter. The childish urge to impress people, to show off, was quite immature. But the force used to display said powers was more than frightening. It was raw and bloody and it made hux swallow. He had always accepted snokes strange obsession with force-users, but he had never seen pure "sith lords" as useful to his army, maybe because he never comprehended how he could use the force in his own troops. But having to fight against someone like Ren would be downfall, which is why the first order needed him. Hux was tempted to call "That's enough", but a lot of the parents fled when they realised they didn't stand a chance. Shooting parents with children in hand, Hux's troops simply retrieved the small, dragging them through the bloody mess when kylo ren was done revealing his powers. Hux did not care if they were traumatised: something like that only hardened humans. It made their will strong as his own, made them cold. Like himself. Or so he believed.

**Ren breathed heavily once he was done, standing in the carnage. That felt good, allowing him to release the amped up anger he kept inside. The only annoying part was that Hux didn't seem impressed nor intimidated. Hooking his lightsaber to his belt, Ren strode over to Hux, grabbing a fleeing girl by the arm, dragging her kicking and screaming, back to the shuttle. If Hux wanted more soldiers, he shouldn't let the younglings flee.**

Hux couldn't deny the cold shiver running down his spine. That one man who could wield so much might? Was that even liable? He grimaced a little. Hux would have to be careful not to go too far while angering Ren. If that man lost control, he'd do all sorts of damage... "We should get this batch to the Finalizer. I think this will be my last excursion, I'm sure I will be able to find someone who can oversee them without me. You, perhaps." He wouldn't watch the children being brainwashed on the absolution. He would perhaps watch the final stages aboard the Finalizer, but this whole trip made him realise that even this could be taken over by someone less qualified. It was not too hard to find the children of a planet and take them in, no matter what race. Hux returned to the shuttle as it had slowly filled up.

**"No." Ren shook his head, clearly displeased with the offer. "Have one of your subordinates do the work. I have to return soon to Master Snoke for further training, so don't make yourself believe I'm yours to command." He had no interest in watching these children become soldiers. He was a Sith Lord in training, that took priority over what Hux wanted. And... Ren had his own goals and ambitions.**

Not reacting to Rens answer, the admiral entered the shuttle. Ren was going to do what he wanted, and as long as he didn’t interfere anywhere, hux could not care less. Finally off this blasted planet, he thought as the ship burned while exiting the atmosphere. Too many awakened memories. Glancing at the clock that was synchronised to central-galactic-time, about three hours had passed. He was sure phasma would be thrilled to get the children to the ship next time. She could do the dirty work and gather all this screaming offspring. But when he boarded the Finalizer, Hux decided to return to his quarters. There was always file work to do, so he might as well begin now.


	2. Uses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just tired boys yelling. basically. Another time skip.  
> Also, a short part about how hux falls sick and ren realises something.

**The years passed by fast,  as Ren grew in his training, Hux had risen fast in his ranks, already a general with twenty eight. Even if Ren barely saw or heard much about the ginger, he had grown far too aware how Snoke seemed to favour the ginger.  But alas, Ren hadn't had the time to ponder what that could mean for him in the future. His own years had been cruel, harsh but never the less, enriching. Between starvation, sleep deprivation and perverse torture, Ren was becoming stronger, and far more dangerous. His mind, a raging conflict between Ben Solo and Kylo Ren, causing an imbalance he had all the more trouble to manage. Now, stumbling out of his shuttle on the starkiller base, Ren was more exhausted than anything. Snoke had put him through torture once more, then decided to ship him off to make sure the Starkiller was on schedule...or maybe to be tested against General Hux. His sole rival.**

Hux was on the sole building on the planet the first order was going to make into a canon, a remote base resembling a steel castle, embedded far away from the huge weapon to be implemented into it. The general had barely had any sleep, the stress and work weighing on him. He had to have this project done, but the procedures took time and very precise planning. Currently shaken by the first visual he had ever gotten from supreme leader snoke in his holochamber, yet also excited over the praise he had gotten, Hux went to retrieve Kylo Ren from the bay. The spark of their rivalry had spread across the entire base, knowing that they were now almost equal in rank and both fighting for snokes attention. "Ren." Hux said, a spiteful joy rising within him as he could leave out the "lord" of their communication, since they were off equal ranks. The time had come and would've sneered at him if he weren't so exhausted. The ginger felt drained, tired, and seeing Ren did not lift his mood.

**Hearing Hux's voice befouled Ren's own exhausted mindset. He let out a scowl at Hux, forcing his thoughts aside of hurting the man. The twelve years he had seen and heard of this man, had left a bitter taste in Ren's mouth. Hux had risen so far, so fast, and Ren had yet to be acknowledged as Vader's heir! It certainly didn't help that Snoke recently had scolded Ren, claiming he was too weak, too unbalanced, too much of a child. "Hux." Ren decided to reply, even he ignoring the title. If they were going to be equals, he was not going to remind Hux of his apparent rank.**

It was denying a dog a treat, apparently; and hux seemed to frown at him even deeper than before. Hux's thoughts were back to an orderly fashion, even if his feelings were currently exhausted and battered. Hux had reached the ambition he was aiming for. There was something higher, too, but that plan was secret and buried with in the fortress of his most guarded thoughts. "I'm supposed to show you around. I'll have a subordinate take care of that for me, I am too busy."

**"Too busy walking around, I'm sure." Ren felt Hux's battered exhaustion and he couldn't help prod at it. He wanted to vent out his own exhaustion, his disappointment in...everything. Himself, even. But he was all too tired to self-discipline himself now, and Hux was a far more interesting target. "Do you at the very leasg have the minute to tell me how the progress is going? Or must you have a secretary to report that?" Condecending, metallic tone, but Ren did it on purpose.**

Hux gave him a deadly glare, spinning on his heel as they walked down the corridor. "I don't have the luxury of sitting around on a rock all day, ren." The general snarled as his boots clicked on the floor. He was busy, but since snoke had insisted on sending Ren over to starkiller base.

**"Sitting on a rock?" Ren asked. Is that what Hux believed him to have done the past years? Sitting on a fucking rock!? The general better be careful of his words, Ren was not in the mood for Hux's snark. He had been the receiver of the smarminess for far too long. "Explain yourself. Surely you have the luxury for that."**

Hux scoffed in disbelief. Was Ren truly valuing his work over Hux's? That was ridiculous. His tired mind was sick of being frightened of Rens control of the force, but Sixteen cups of tea a day were not keeping him in top shape. The general was exhausted, bitter and very angry that ren was interrupting his perfectly planned shedule. "I respect your... work for the order, even if i cannot imagine what you could possibly contribute to our plan. In the end, this planet will destroy the resistance, and if you demand me to take my attention away from important things instead of just sticking to your usual stalking about the corridors at night, there would be more dramatic consequences than if i do not fill you in on how removing hundred thousands of square kilometers of bloody trees is going." Hux was practically steaming at this point, and his stormtroopers knew to stay away from him when his glare was as sharp and fiery as it was now. But would it work on a force user? Probably not. Hux had no more medicine to keep him intact and reasonable this day, and even if his appearance was perfect, his mind was as unhinged as that bay door in sector seven.

**Scolded by Hux in front of the stormtroopers. Ren hadn't felt this humiliated for quite some time, causing him to clench fists and teeth. He was glad the helmet concealed the rage, the trembling lower lip as he struggled to find the right words to bite back with. He was exhausted, bodh hurting and he could feel his head preparing to explode. He took two wide strides until he stood so close to Hux, his helmet were not even half an inch from Hux's face. With his back straight for once, he stood taller than the general. A natural attempt of authority. "You are gravely underestimating the Resistance, and if you believe that this oversized toy of yours is going to bring victory in one blow, you need to get your head out of your ass. The Resistance has Leia Skywalker, and she is not going to be scared of this half a joke of a base." Ren took a deep inhale, the Force locking Hux in place where he stood, paralyzing him completely. _If you value your weasly life, mind that tongue of yours. You are not as important as you make youself think you are. You are nothing but a pawn, a soldier from a rotting planet. A pure bastard!_**

Being paralysed also had the effect that he could not speak his remark loudly. Hux wouldve loved to punched this child in the face, but he was currently incapable of even twitching. _"Oh, really? So you'll take a lightsaber and split five planets in two with it? This weapon will be able to annihalate the regime of the republic. Whatever shards we squish later on are irrelevant. Leia Organa ? Dont make me laugh."_ He thought, his mind growing colder as he pulled the walls up higher than they were before. But the comment about being a bastard really set Hux off. He was seething, and he could tell that stormtroopers were leaving the corridor empty for the two. They better, one could almost feel the electricity between the two as they looked like they could murder each other. Hux could finally watch Ren from up close, staring into the reflective surface of his mask, believing to look straight into his eyes. _"You need me, Ren. Without me, you wouldn't have a chance against the republic. You would have no organisation. I am still alive because I am VITAL to your success. Listen to yourself. You are enhancing your feeling of self worth by abusing your powers, just because I made a fair point and you cannot swallow it. Stop acting childish and let me continue working my actual JOB. Now put me down."_

**Had there been even a single stormtrooper left in the corridor, Ren would without hesitation have cut him or her down before anyone had the chance to blink. He couldn't kill Hux, Snoke would put Ren through the worst of punishments if he did, making him feel as if his skin was torn off. Ren involunteerly shuddered at the fleeting thought. Snoke's ability to make Ren feel pain without as much as touching the apprentice was an ability both worthy of learning, yet feared for all the right reasons.**

**"As you wish." Ren growled, snapping his fingers. In an instant, Hux was thrown backwards against the corridor wall, released from the Force. He wanted to scream at Hux, shout his lungs out at the brat who dared to disrespect him so! He didn't need Hux, he didn't need anyone! Not his father, mother, uncle. Not even Sno-. Ren stopped himself before he had the chance to finish his thought. Of course he needed Snoke, he was the only person to have ever shown Ren the truth, the only one who could teach Ren, perfect him.  
Trying to choke down his fury and hurt pride, Ren's breathing was rapid when he spoke, pointing his finger down at Hux. "Make no mistake, general. Once this weapon is complete, you will be disposed off. Your one and only 'job' is to make this planet operationable, nothing more. And don't fool yourself into thinking that you hold any meaning to me. You're just another soldier, expendable when push comes to show. I know it, and the Supreme Leader knows it."**

The strength was quite a shock to the young general who clutched his torso and his ears rang from the impact as all the air got knocked out of his lungs. He coughed. Those words did strike a tone with Hux, who considered the idea in his thoughts, enraged because he knew those doubts would reside in him forever. "Men like you will need men like me." Hux retorted, breath falling short as he mulled Ren's words over in his dizzy head. That slam had not greatly helped his headache. Men like Ren needed men like Hux. That was true. But men like Hux needed men like Ren, too, in a way. The raw and unbalanced power needed its discipline and order. Its strategy. But what was power if it had no way to go, and what was order if it had nothing to organise? Duo's like Tarkin and Vader did achieve a lot of things, but ended up dead because of unwanted components and clumsy mistakes. Hux was not keen on letting anything like that happen. He was going to follow with his plan, and once Ren realised his value, maybe they were to set their differences aside. But before that, Hux agreed on keeping this rivalry between them. It was crucial to his plan, in a way. "If you wish to know. I will update you on the matter if i have time to spare." He choked out, straightening his back as he pushed his hair back again. Hux was not expandable. And Armitage had long decided that nothing would get in the way of his ambitions.  
Hux was split on the idea of losing meaning after Starkiller base was complete. The ginger wasn't a force user, he could not read minds or thoughts or whether or not Snoke deemed him useful. But he did know that Snoke valued his strategic and leadership abilites, which heightened his chances of survival. But would it be enough?  
The walls around his mind tighter than ever before, Hux rest his remorseless, cold gaze upon Kylo Ren.  
He would come to value Hux as well, because they needed to work together. Ren would learn to see that.

**The only organization Ren needed, was Snoke. He was the crippled creature's hound, his extended arm and enforcer. Hux was just a brain who knew how to best keep the Stormtrooper Program running. Or so Ren had decided to believe. He was in no condition, nor mood, to even begin to accept the idea that they needed one another. Ren needed no one, especially not an overambitious general who needed go compensate for what he lacked from his childhood! "Make the time, or I will ensure the Supreme Leader hears about this." Ren sneered back at Hux, glaring back. But instead of the controlled coldness which Hux mastered, Ren was fuming, his mind screaming incoherently, thoughts scrambled up together.  He was scared, even if he didn't like admitting it to himself. Snoke took great value of Hux, and that made him a rival, a potential threat for the future. Had Ren been like Vader, a man like Hux wouldn't have gotten away with his remarks. Vader had respect and everyone knew it to be wise to fear him. Ren was going to ensure he ended up there too. Respected, feared. Acknowledged.**

Hux retreated into his Room. There was nothing more to tell Ren, that stubborn child that wouldn't except their cooperation. Hux had realised that his outbreak might have been not such a good idea. It was a display of emotion he'd rather avoid in the future, but he really was dead tired. He sent a message to one of his lieutenants, notifying them of his imminent break. If he angered Ren to the point that he paralysed him and flung him against a wall, either Ren had major moodswings or no control over his emotions. Hux would have to watch his tongue to prioritize his highest value: Survival. Bigger than ambition or mainting a certain appearance, hux needed to survive. He learned that a long time ago from a father who would prioritise his status over his life, which eventually got him killed by his own son.

If Hux got enough rest now, he might regain stability and try to bring Ren away from wanting to Kill him the moment Starkiller fired. In his standard-first-order nightclothes, he managed to fall asleep rather swiftly. Maintain a functioning thought process, he thought. That was his priority.

~~

Ridiculous. Hux thought as he he watched the droid measure his temperature. He felt as sluggish as never before in his time in the first order. The ginger hadn't had a cold since he had been on arkanis. But the damn excursion to the rich mine that some Stormtroopers had found had proven too cold for only his greatcoat and uniform, standing out in the cold for hours. Not that that was the cause for the cold, but on a cold planet such as the one they were one, those damn viruses just loved transmitting themselves through the air. Hux was not in best shape, and catching the cold was just great. It wasn't even confined to his head, his body felt weak and tired and even symptoms of muscle ache appeared. Just great. To think that with their technology, something like the bloody cold would be abolished long ago. But no, it is one of the very persistent sicknesses that could survive in this goddamn galaxy... hux had to find strength to send word to the bridge that their general was sick for today, at least, and would not be in a state capable of work today.

 _oh, shit._ was the current outlook for the rest of the base. Phasma was in control of the Finalizer currently halfway across the unknown regions, and their only competent leader was sick. What a rare occurrence, but it was annoying when it did occure.  
There came a holomessage from a small lieutenant called Mitaka for kylo ren, the only one who had the courage to ask whether ren could supervise their current state.

 **Declining the offer to supervise while Hux was bedridden was too much of an opportunity and only a fool would say no. Ren accepted. This was his chance to prove that he was as capable as Hux, if not even more. Demanding that Mitaka would send over the reports and files to his current office/chambers, Ren was eager to get started.**  
 **No less than an hour later, he was buried in the paper works containing the economics, the building schedule of Starkiller, mission reports and far too many digital papers for him to sign than he wanted to ever care for. Never the less, Ren was going to go through this on his own. He was not, under any circumstances, ask Hux for advice!**  
  
**The door to Hux's chambers flung open, Ren stepping inside without asking for permission. In his hand, he carried a tablet. Now without his helmet, Ren looked frustrated, lost and agitated. "What the hell is this? How is anyone supposed to make sense out of these numbers?" He growled, almost pushing the tablet in front of Hux's face.**

Hux looked up at him with a frown, insulted that ren got to see him like this. What was he doing in his personal chambers? He wasn't supposed to barge in here like a lunatic. Hux was not dressed or combed or really  ready to be seen at all. It was degrading to be seen in anything but his uniform, since Kylo ren should not know any other Hux. There was no other hux. The general was his complete identity! Squinting, he pushed the data pad away from his eyes. Reading was too much of a strain when it was this close. He stifled a cough in rens presence. Hux wasn't going to sneeze near him, for crying out loud. They were supposed to be professional... "Probably payment. Universal-tax-orders. The others are statistics and reports you shouldn't be messing with. There are repairs to be made in those sectors with a certain amount of personnel and budget. Some of the numbers are coordinates...." hux needed to pause. He was too sick to be figuring out why kylo ren was messing with his perfectly organised files! "And other numbers are calculations that correspond with some of the blueprints. What goddamn numbers are you even referring to." He couldn't stop himself from coughin this time. "Now what are you doing here? Do you wish to get sick too? Leave." He said, mustering up as much anger as he could in his current state. If ren got sick, who knew how supreme leader would find ways to blame it on him. Hux squinted at ren as he closed his eyes again. His mind was weary and tired, similar to his body. Ren really did not want to catch the simplest yet most persistent of viruses.

**Seeing Hux in his weakest carried more value than to protect himself from the sickness. He let his eyes wander over Hux, surprised to find the general so small in his frame. He looked broader in his greatcoat. Maybe it was his own way of hiding, like how Ren turned to his helmet to conceal himself from even appearing human. Ren hid his smirk with a well masked sneer. It was preferable to see Hux this weak and frail, he wasn't so great after all. Just a thin man with the skin of a ghost. Ren relished in this moment, where he certainly was the strongest and Hux...was so frail that a cold rendered him useless. "That's all I needed to know." Ren replied. The numbers made no sense to him, no matter how organized Hux had made them, they still appeared as an alien language. "Lord Ren, please come down to Sector Alpha-Eight." A voice spoke up in the general intercom. Ren rolled his eyes, for the first time letting a thought of wonder slip by. How the hell did Hux manage this job!?**

"It's the bay door causing problems again. Send for the group of technicians in sector two." Hux growled, wishing that ren would just dissappear. Ren should not even know that a hux existed that wasn't perfectly combed and dressed, but now he was invading his privacy. Hux felt way too exposed as he watched him leave. _"not such an easy job after all, huh."_

**Ren looked away from Hux, not out of respect of seeing him this human, but because of the remark. He had no idea, he'd come to repeat this action far more than wanted. "I can more than handle this." Ren's disembodied words echoed in Hux's mind. He was lying, but he wasn't going to admit to Hux that he was lost in this position, that he didn't know what was expected of him. If Ren appeared weak now, Hux would mock him for an eternity. Without further words, Ren barged out of the room, scowling at a pair of patrolling Stormtroopers for nearly colliding with him.**

Hux groaned to himself as the door shut closed behind him. Ren was still such a child, and he'd have to revise all the files next day. If he was healthy by then... he better be. Hux was not going to have some uneducated sith run the blueprints of a goddamn planet. Looking at the mug on his table, hux couldn't muster the strength to get himself a cup of tea. At least he could clearly feel his anger and resentment. Ren just barged in here with no warning, and Hux felt so.. exposed. He guessed that was a way of getting back at him for their quarrel the day ren first arrived on starkiller. Closing his eyes, the general surpressed all those thoughts for once. He needed his quiet, just for today...             

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We couldnt resist the urge to have Ren see a small goddamn general in his bed all weak and stuff ok??


	3. A new stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some new things happen. (explicit. Oops, spoilers.)

Years came and went. Starkiller base could be recognised from afar, the huge implant in the planets crust slightly horrifying and impressive at the same time. So much time and work and stress poured into this project. Hux had grown increasingly anxious and blatantly had too much work piling up on him. He had a perfect shedule, plan, calendar to organise it all. But the work had almost squashed him, he wasn't going to deny that. So much  to take care of and handle,  but in the final stages, he was proud of his work. The first order would have nothing without him. Where else would they find someone who poured everything into a project like this? So his thoughts, at least the rather shallow ones, were swarming around his mind. Loud and annoying, hux didnt have time these days to properly adjust them. He just let himself go, at least with his actual thought process, still keeping the big secrets behind heavily locked doors. But the other thoughts were in a way... loud. He was not aware of the force users probable eavesdropping, nor did he care. They'd probably fry their brains out if they tried to understand what he was currently processing. The work of starkiller was in its final stages. A technical miracle. Such a futuristic design was truly something to beholdn; but god. The resources and the funding! In that, ren had really helped out. Allsorts of criminal activity within the new republic was manageable to make the amount of money they needed. Most of it was dirty anyways, so noone cared. Noone wanted to know why the first order needed all that money, but looking out of the window in his room, the starkiller base was looming near the finaliser, the large chasm staring at his creator. Hux got excited just by looking at it. Has anyone else ever reached something like this in such an amount of time??

**Ren had taken a step back over the years. He had learned his lesson on just how difficult it was to manage this planet and by the judge of things, Hux was indeed the right man for the job. But for the past weeks he had grown more and more annoyed with the general. He wasn't able to get within a couple of meters of the man before his mind was drowned in Hux's thoughts. Ren could barely hear himself think, and any meditation he attempted on were instantly squashed by Hux's presence. And Kylo Ren was getting fed up!**

**Yes, he could admit that Starkiller seemed promising, and he was just a little interested to see if it matched the bragging Hux fed him with. Then again, if the weapon functioned or not didn't quite matter for Ren. A man he thought to be dead had gone into exile and Ren was on a personal mission to find him, and end his life for good! Knowing he had failed to kill Luke drove Ren near maddening rage, and with Hux's loud thoughts, he simply couldn't take it anymore!**

**"Open the door!" Ren bellowed, slamming his fist against the locked steel door of Hux's chambers. "Open it, or I will tear it away from the wall!"**

Hux was sitting at his desk, a cup of his favourite tea to calm his nerves and a data pad on the table before him. "State your business, Ren. I don't have time." He replied, almost wearily. But he had even less time to worry about a broken door in his own quarters so he got up, tapping his pin into the lock as the door buzzed open. Hux didnt look at tired as most days, but he was still angry and very frantic at the moment. Starkiller was only a year to completion, and the general was beyond ecstatic to have his work finish off. Then, he could finally wipe the new republic off the face of fhe earth. There had never been second thoughts to his plans. Hux had always only seen it from the view of the empire, had no real contact to the view of the resistance. Because every man believes in his world view and does not want to change it. Believes it to be the correct one, and will act accordingly. If lives had to be lost for him to rise to rule, then those lives would be lost. Armitage huxs moral code was broken - not nonexistent - but definitly deeply flawed by the enviroment he had grown up in. Hux had considered that sort of government poisonous and lazy, and unfit to rule the galaxy. And seeing as they did not accept the first order in any form, they were an obstacle standing in his way to the top. His ambitions were high, but he believed he was already half way there.

A lot of these thoughts were just floating around his mind, others he was too egocentrical to even consider. Because hux believed himself to be in the right.

**Ren pushed right past Hux, entering his quarters without a breath of a word. Hux's thoughts were even louder here, driving Ren nearly insane. "You need to shut your thoughts up." Ren began, turning around to face the general. "You are so loud, I can't even hear myself think. Worst, I can't concentrate even in my own chambers." Ren turned his head to look out at the Starkiller. "I get it, you are excited about this plan, but enough is enough! Your irratic thinking is beginning to deeply annoy me."**

Excited was one word, unhinged was another. Hux was amazingly angry and hectic. How was he supposed to "control his thoughts"? Hux looked like he was about to murder someone. “ _Why is he here? He's stalling me. I still need to take care of things. I need to go to the sixth floor. There's a failure with that **goddamn** bay door again. I need sleep." _ Hux closed the door behind Ren to avoid any passing guards listening in on their conversation. _"I need sleep. I'm tired. Why are some so incompetent? How could he screw up? We need more funding in sector six. I need to keep this working. I haven't eaten since yesterday morning. I feel like puking. We're so close to completion. I need to handle this perfectly. If it doesn't work.. I'm dead. What if it doesn't work. What will they do with me. It has to work. The calculations are all correct. They have been checked sixteen times. All the materials have been checked. Oh, I have a sheduled complete check on starkiller base in three days. Fourth two of fifty four. I need to get ready. I still need to fix that door. Are you kidding me? I have to skip sleeping tonight."_ "How am I supposed to change my thinking? I happen to have a lot of things to take care of."

**"Stop thinking so loud!" Ren suddenly yelled, making a quick gesture with his arm, causing Hux's tea cup to crash and shatter on the floor. He was starting to develop a headache just standing here, hearing Hux's maniac rambling inside his own mind. The general who had been so good at keeping his walls up seemed to have just opened the flood gates completely. How was Ren suppose to focus on his training in this noise!? "If you are having that much trouble, have some of your officers deal with the matter! I can't concentrate when you're this loud! Get some damn sleep if you're puke. Do anything! As long as you shut up!" Ren growled, baring his teeth. Hux thought he had issues? Snoke was at Ren's neck again, urging him, demanding him to focus! Ren had to find where Luke was, end him! He had to destroy what remained of the Skywalker family that wasn't true to Vader or what the Empire once stood for. To make matters worse, Ren had begun to have dreams, or visions if one so desired to call them. Starkiller was at fault, an wound ready to have the stitches ripped out. He had seen fire and snow and midst it, himself in agony. Hearing Hux ramble like this, didn't make his feeling of dread any easier to deal with.**

It's like his shallow thoughts had overloaded. "Aren't you trained with the force? Just block me out." Hux replied angrily, trying to grab his thoughts by the leash and gather them all in his mind fortress. But even if he wasn't letting ren into his secrets, in his current chaotic state, ren would be able to tear down those walls with just some force. He'd be able to expose his little secrets and ambitions. "I can't have anyone working on important matters. I cannot completely let anyone handle such important matters." Hux growled, looking at the floor. "That was my favourite goddamn mug." The generals thoughts flared into anger as he shot daggers at ren with his eyes. "I'm trying to keep this all together. What am I supposed to do?! Relax?!" He scoffed in disbelief. "I cannot relax. I have no time to relax. I don't have time to eat, either. Sleep? Forget that. My thoughts are the only things that have some sort of freedom."

**Ren let out a short, but sharp barking laughter as if Hux had something incredibly stupid. "And a door is your main concern, is it? Ah, yes, so called great general Hux can't get any sleep, because he is worried about a FUCKING DOOR!" Ren raised his voice, looming over Hux like a ticking bomb, waiting to be triggered into exploding. "You're weak, that's what you are. You know the moment that weapon is fired off, you are no longer needed, and that's why you really can't sleep." Ren moved his hand up, letting his gloved fingertips ghost near Hux's forehead. He could sense the crumbling wall, and he wanted to completely wreck it once and for all. Hux was hiding something, if not from Ren, then from the Supreme Leader himself. If Ren exposed those little hidden thoughts, he would have control over the general, bring him back down on his knees like the puppet he truly was.**

Hux had no nerves or calm for this fucking prick to talk about something he was unqualified to even speculate about. "You have no idea what you're talking about." He snarled angrily. "You don't understand anything that's going on here. And you should be able to simply ignore those thoughts if you're so powerful-" Hux realised what he was doing, pushing Ren away with two solid hands against his chest shoving him at least a meter away. "Get away." Hux almost choked out, his thoughts jumping to fear. He was tired and completely unhinged. Hux felt terrible, knowing that if he didn't get himself under control soon, he would  end up doing something he'd regretting. His mind was dishevelled and kylo goddamn ren was not getting into his deepest thoughts! The general was losing his order, and he hated it. He wanted to get his shedule back. Armitage Hux was truly losing his nerve, at least until starkiller was finished. But a human had a certain capacity, and  Hux was having a burnout.

**Ren didn't resist when he got pushed back. A wide grin grew on his face, relishing in how Hux was starting to break, and yet it made him curious. He could still recall their first meeting, how Hux at such a young age had become an officer, how he had a will of iron and a wall thick as a planet's core surrounding his thoughts. Now that very man was crumbling before him, losing his grip. It was an enjoyment to watch, as much as it made Ren just a pinch of sympathy. Ren wasn't the only one cracking from the recent demands of Snoke. Hux had his weaponized planet, and Ren his entire future. If the Resistance won, if Leia somehow united with Luke and if Ren himself failed to do what was asked of him, then... Ren swallowed, turning his own fear into anger, directing it at Hux. This man was his rival of Snoke's favour and attention. If Hux succeeded whilst Ren failed, then he could never forgive himself. "Continue that thought, I dare you." Ren hissed.**

"Then you should be able to get out of my head." Hux's will was still of iron! He was strong and had dealt with stressful situations before. Maybe not on this scale, but still. He was Armitage hux. The general of the first order, and he was not weak willed. He was not that which his father had always thought of him!

Hux slammed those thoughts back deep into his heart. No. He had to keep a tight grip on himself, especially near ren. "It is almost complete. You and I will be able to concentrate better when the resistance is wiped out." He spoke carefully and slow, still not getting too close to ren. Hux didnt know want Ren anywhere near his stone heart, those past memories. They were both afraid, though. Each had their part to play, but Hux had a lot of work piling and he would not have a force user stop him. "Now let me go. I need to take care of a lot of things." He hissed back. They were both under pressure, obviously. Hux pulled himself together, thinking of only one thing. It managed to silence the shallowest thoughts to the back of his mind. _"Get out of my head, ren.”_

**_"Fathers are such a disappointment, aren't they?"_ ** **Ren had managed to sense Hux's resentment about a father, but that had been just about all he had collected before the walls were starting to come back up again. Didn't matter, it was still a secret that Hux had tried to keep from him. Of course Ren had heard the whispering rumours about the sudden death of Brendol Hux, but nothing was confirmed or denied. _"They abandon their children, leave them in the hands of other, letting their children grow resentment to what they are supposed to symbolize."_ Ren took a deep breath. He was of course speaking his own opinions about Han Solo, but that Hux didn't need to know. His words fit with Hux, and that was important: use it against him, get under Hux's skin. "Tell me, do you hide your small frame for the same reason? Not big enough to fill that general coat?" He vocalized this time.**

"Don't reflect your problems onto me, Ren." Hux practically spat the words. No matter what he thought of rens words, ren would be able to use it against him. The whole idiocy of the situation was that it was distracting him from his issues, giving him one concrete thing to focus on. To settle his thoughts. "You don't need to tell me about your father, Ren." The ginger mocked. Rumours about Rens heritage were all the gossip in the cafeteria. Hux, having not been in there for quite a while, never really talked about those things. But listening provided him with quite good intel, even if it was just rumors. And one of those had been about Kylo Ren, or Ben Solo. Hux had thought the rumor of Ren being Han solos son ridiculous, yet it wasn't too farfetched. With what Ren was saying, it might even be true.

However, The generals eye twitched when Ren mentioned his build. He could not stand for it, no matter how ridiculous it was. "As you've heard, I have no time to worry about details like that. You hide your face in a steel mask, are you self-conscious, ren?" Hux knew he had a smaller frame than Ren, but he was in no position to chide him for it! It was childish. The only thing they could compare was intellect, in which Hux positioned himself far superior to Ren. Yet if Ren attacked him on such basis, hux lacked restraint on this weary day.

**Ren had hoped that Hux would be the first to snap, but the mere mentioning of his mask, the pure ignorance and disrespect of what it truly represented made the Sith lash out. Using the Force, he pulled Hux close towards him, seething at the man with almost completely black eyes. Maybe, just a little, his own failure in putting Hux off-balance with the father remark, had come to irritate him, making his current stressed mood all the more worse. "You know nothing about what that mask represents. Don't come here, believing you know everything. Bastard child." He pushed Hux away from him, causing the general to collide with his own office table.**

Hux glared at him when he collided with his desk, stumbling away from it after he  managed not upsetting anything. "If I recall, you came to me, Ren." How dare he. The audacity. Ren had no restrictions to his anger, no idea how to act professional. But it was obvious to both of them that their relationship was strained far over their professionalism. The orders from Snoke basically controlled their lives, and both wishing to be the on that comes out on top. Hux knew snoke would favour his student. Sometimes, Hux wondered if the supreme leader cared about their organisation or not, or if it was actually just Hux running the first order. Would that much change with Snoke gone? Those aspects of his future ambitions were hidden away, even as dishevelled as he currently was. "You know no restraint, do you?! The order does not revolve around your needs. And if you cannot accept training while I am taking care of actual business, then go somewhere else." Hux was now the one that was approaching Ren. It was a sign that he wasn't going to let him intimidate him, wasn't going to make him do anything. Ren had to accept his duties and let Hux work his own. "Instead of solving the problem, you shout and destroy with no real productivity." Although even hux could not come up with a way to ease his own stress.

**The moment Hux was within range, Ren swiftly clutched the general around his sharp jawline, holding a firm grip as they stood close once more. Ren was sure his heart was going to explode out of his chest anytime soon, consider how hard it raced. He had to muster all of his strength in order to not reach for his lightsaber and cut Hux down where he stood. Each time Ren had questioned Snoke as to why Hux was so important to the supreme leader, Snoke had put Ren in a world of pain, reminding him that they were equals, serving in their own ways. If Ren gave in to his growing fury, Snoke would never Ren experience a day without severe agony. He knew his master too well, feared that wrath enough to control his impulses. But he was not going to back down from Hux! Both had the need to control, to be the one the galaxy would remember for aeons. And neither was intimidated by the other. "May I remind you, that both you and your troopers wouldn't have made it out alive during many of your trips to tribal territories in search for children."**

Hux blinked before barking out a laugh. He couldn't believe how amplified Rens sense of self-importance was! It was ridiculous! The general was getting annoyed that every time he realised he was starting to get distracted, he remembered all that he still had to do. "I would be very much alive. Those stormtroopers would have died in the defense of their order, no shame in that. Is that really the argument you want to fall back on? That's beyond ridiculous. You were like a child needing entertainment, so I let you help instead of standing there, conversing with small children." Hux's snarl was angry and defensive. "This is exactly what I meant. You have no more arguments, Ren. So back off if you cannot stand my thoughts." Hux did not raise a hand to pull rens grip off of his jaw. This fighting was relieving him off his constipated emotions, giving him a sort of stress relief. Maybe it would help.

**That hurt more than what Ren was willing to admit. Not because Hux was right, quite far from it! Or...was he? No, Ren had relished in those missions as it allowed for him to be practical, to bask in the dying thoughts of the natives, feel their life-force snuff out like a candle. He loved the dread around him, knowing that the troopers were reminded of the pure, raw strength Ren possessed. Changing his grip on Hux, Ren grabbed the general by his neck, pressing him face down on the office desk, while Ren stood leaned over him, parts of him touching Hux in a way they shouldn't. "So you decided to be so kind, to patronize me, is that it? You think yourself so much higher than me, but on your own, alone, you would succumb to any attack. Surrounding yourself with soldiers isn't making you strong, it's creating a illusion to feed your ego with."**

Feeling the cold desk press against his cheek as he saw ren in the corner of his eye,  Hux almost let out a cold laugh. He knew Ren by now. These were just displays of power. Right now, he needed him. He wasn't allowed to kill him. Not yet. Right..?

Hux felt a completely involuntary, yet human reaction in his stiff uniform. "Get off of me, Ren. Life is not about the strong anymore. It's about the intelligent." Hux growled. Ren was pulling the arguments out of his ass with no correspondence to the previous, picking on Hux because he wasn't seventy kilograms of soaking wet under that pretty black dress..

**Ren didn't care about the fact he was lacking arguments at this point. He was pissed, stressed and afraid. Deathly afraid of what could happen if everything went sideways. Leaning further down on Hux, he pressed himself against Hux's bent body, causing a shudder of a sensation he wasn't used to. Pushing the emotion away, he tried to refocus. "If that is your way to claim I'm not intelligent..." Ren sneered. How cared Hux!? How dared he lay there, scowling at Ren, subtly claiming he wasn't intelligent!?**

"All im stating is that you always flaunt your ridiculous strength and never your intellect." The general snarled. His thoughts had fallen almost silent as he had regained focus. His mind and body were still weary, but he was able to focus better now. Focus on ren. "Like right now."

**Ren moved his lips close to Hux's ear. "Oh, believe me, Hux. There are other things I can just as easily flaunt, bigger than my 'ridiculous' strength." He didn't know what possessed him to say it, maybe it was the compromising position they were in, Ren on top, Hux bent over at his will. Or maybe he was simply using the position as a way to taunt Hux, harass him in a manner that fluster the general, embarrass him on a new level.**

_Its obviously not his intellect..._ Hux swallowed tightly. This position was very compromising indeed, and his thoughts fell silent. His heart was thumping at a sudden idea he had, a vision of another way ren and himself could relieve stress. He pushed that picture out of his mind as soon as he imagined it, but he feared Ren had already caught a glimpse of his stress relief. "I do hope you don't flaunt that in public."

**The glimpse caused Ren to pause for just a moment. Initially, the idea seemed as outrageous as returning to Luke was, but as Ren allowed himself to process Hux's thought, he began to feel it. His body had reacted to the position, his pants strained, and as much as he would deny it to himself and others; Hux wasn't a bad looking man. Quite the opposite. "I suggest you don't flaunt that mental suggestion in public." Relieve their stress by fucking, had that really been Hux's idea? Ren knew it could be a trap, a way for Hux to get to Ren, but if it wasn't a trap... Ren let out a small grunt as he swiftly moved his free hand under Hux, quickly finding his groin. "Oh, someone likes this a little too much."**

_Outrageous!_ The general gasped softly, regretting the quiet sound leaving his mouth as he turned his head to glare at Ren. It had been a fleeting thought, just an idea... Ren was not seriously considering it! The bulge in hux's pants seem to react to the thought of really pulling through with this. "You're the only one who can read minds, ren..."

**You don't have to be a mind reader, to know what you are thinking about." Ren smirked. He shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't even consider this! But if it kept Hux from having a loud mind and if it kept Ren in balance enough to concentrate, wasn't it worth it? If Ren couldn't best Hux in a verbal fight, he could at least best the general in fucking him long enough to quiet him. But what if Snoke found out? Ren banished the possible scenario before it had a chance to make him doubt, taken over by the idea Hux had involuntarily planted in him. Ren let go of Hux's neck, both hands fumbling and tugging at Hux's belt and pants. He could feel that Hux needed this as much as he did.**

"Fuck you, Ren." Hux said breathlessly. He had always been so close to saying that to his face, but never close enough to really lose his control over his words. Snoke possibly already knew, but sex sounded like a great stress relief to Hux, no proper harm done. Giving no thought of Ren being able to use this against him in the future, the ginger swallowed. "There's lube in the second drawer under the bathroom sink." He choked, still not quite believing that they were going to fuck. It was apparently enough to calm ren down and clear his thoughts, it seemed like a wise idea in hux's tired state of mind.

**Ren should have asked why Hux kept a bottle of lube when the general evidently didn't have a lover. Or he quite possibly fucked every available man on the ship. It didn't matter to Ren. His mission was simple, get the lube and fuck Hux. Everything else could wait. It didn't take Ren long to find the bottle, already starting to shed his clothes on his way back to Hux. "Get yourself undressed, general." He growled in command, mind racing with anticipation, arousal and adrenaline. If Snoke already knew, or if he had always known this was coming, Ren prayed the punishment wouldn’t be severe.**

Perhaps Snoke would not provide any punishment at all. Perhaps this was all part of a plan he devised. But neither of them could know, could they? Right now, all Hux knew was that it aroused him immensely to have Ren call him _General_. That did not happen every day.

Hux was not some slut aboard the finaliser, he kept his lubricant in there for practical reasons. Better prepared for nothing than unprepared for something! Undoing the buckle of his shiny black belt, Hux was wondering if Ren was really as large as the rest of his body. Just the thought got him excited. "Cant you even remove pants on your own?" He taunted as he curled his belt into a roll and placed it on the table.

**"Saves time if you take off your own damn clothes." Ren scowled back, pulling his tunic off, throwing the cloth away. He kicked his boots off, setting the bottle next to Hux's belt. He squinted down at it, a thought rising, causing him to shudder at the mere arousing imagine. "If you want to be fucked, with a surprise at hand, be a good little general and get those pants off." Ren smirked. Oh, he was going to enjoy this!**

Hux had been hoping for something else, but taking off his own pants felt liberating as well. He had been wearing nothing but his uniform for years; it felt good to be wearing nothing there outside of the shower. The general would never admit how much he was aroused by the use of “good”, “little” and “general” in the same sentence, describing his rank, but it infuriated him that it did. Folding the trousers on the table, Hux turned to look at Ren. "Take of those gloves, though." He warned, placing his own next to his clothes.

**Letting his eyes wander down Hux's naked body, Ren was struck by two thoughts; the general needed to eat more, and he truly was a small man under all those heavy clothes, especially compared to how broad Ren was. "These?" Ren arched a brow, taunting Hux by letting his gloved fingers trail down Hux's chest, over his stomach and finally stopping at his erection. Ren curled his lips, wrapping his fingers around the shaft. "Ask me to take them off. I know you want to."**

He already did! Hux let one hand grip the fabric that ren was infuriatingly still wearing, inhaling softly. "Take off your clothes. Ren." He said. Hux was not going to ask nicely. That was beneath him, and this was all only

**Ren frowned at Hux's unwillingless to play along, but let it slip by. At least this time. If this mutual understanding was to happen again in the future, then he might just as well enforce his commands. But for now, he stripped himself of his pants and boxers, discarding them haphazzardly on the floor. It was enough that Hux was ordely with his uniform. Standing naked now before Hux, Ren made a circular motion with his index finger, urging Hux to turn around and bend over on the table once more.**

Another thing the general would never admit was that Kylo Ren was indeed large everywhere, be it his hands or his ridiculous cock. Hux obeyed without a word or remark - for the first time. And this round, he was bending over his desk over his own free will. Ridiculous, wasn't it? He hadn't thought he'd ever willingly bend over in this fashion, for kylo ren no less.. then again, he had not anticipated his mind to be in such a dispearing state. At least after letting out some steam, his thoughts were clearer. They'd be cloudy again soon enough, but after that, the slightly humiliating process would get his head out of the fog.

**Ren took a moment to simply just bask in the sight before him. Hux, naked and hard, lay bent forward over his own table. The fact he was doing it willingly made the situation far more greater. Ren moved behind Hux, taking the bottle of lubrication before adding a click of the ointment on his own finger. Gently, Ren began to prep Hux's ass, using his free hand to spread his asscheeks, allowing the lube to be added around, and inside Hux's ass with the aid of Ren's slick finger.**

"You've done this before." Hux noted as his shoulders jerked when ren found that spot inside of him. Ren seemed like he had expierence in this sort of thing, and Hux couldn't complain. Shuddering with the first instance of pleasure, he braced his arms on the desk.

**"Maybe I have." Ren grinned, letting his index finger slide slowly in and out, the tip of his finger massaging Hux's prostate. He could feel himself dripping, the years that had passed between this moment, and the last time he even had the opportunity to fuck someone had been all too distant. He finally let his finger leave Hux's ass, reaching once more for the bottle of lube. He was not in the mood to wait any longer.**

Hux had not expected any preparation from Kylo Ren, so even if it had only lasted a short while, it was welcome. Hux hadn't had this luxury in quite a while as well, trying to forget all other worries as he watched Ren with hungry eyes. What a coincidence that it was Ren relieving his stress. Well, he figured that they both needed a little time off.

**Ren didn't want to think that he was doing Hux a favor, but hell, he was gaining something from this as well. After ensuring his throbbing cock was slick enough, he once more put the bottle away before gripping his shaft steadily, carefully starting to penetrate Hux's warm ass. Already the moment they made contact, Ren had to choke down a noise. He wasn't going to give Hux the victort of hearing Ren moan.**

Hux's breath wavered. No doubt that Kylo Ren had a ridiculously large cock, no doubt about that. It felt like it could fill him up completely, brush along his insides. Hux too had no intention of giving Ren the pleasure of hearing him moan, but he was doing all this to relax. He might just let himself go that far.

Catching his breath, Hux looked straight in front of him as Ren slid his dick in his ass. He couldn't deny himself the pleasure, that was for sure.

**_Tight._ ** **The thought repeated itself over and over in Ren's mind until he was in deep enough for the ass to swallow his cock down to the base. He let his breath stagger, both of his large hands squeezing Hux's asscheeks firmly. "You're tight. Virgin, general?" Ren taunted.**

"Fuck off, Ren." Hux managed to say. He was glad that ren had taken off his gloves as well, feeling his cool fingers on his ass. It would've made this entire affair a little bit worse if he were wearing leather gloves while fondling hux... Hux groaned softly. Ren was not boasting when he said he had a big dick. He felt ren everywhere inside of him, reminding of how real this all was. Relax, he told himself.

**"That's what I'm doing." Ren snickered, his hips starting to move slowly back and forth, looking for the perfect rythmn. Already so early, he was starting to feel overwhealmed, Hux's ass squeezing him hard and tight, slowly expanding to fit his cock. Ren leaned forward on Hux, sliding one hand from his ass, up over his arched back before stopping at the back of Hux's neck.**

An involuntary shiver crept up his spine as the General felt rens hand on the back of his neck. No doubt about it, he became sort of aroused when ren did that. Positioning himself in just the right angle, the pleasure spread through his entire body.

**That thought didn't slip by undetected by Ren who let his fingers grip Hux's neck, grunting as his hips buckled upwards, hard. He was willing to admit that this hadn't been an entirely bad idea. The pleasure took over his mind, letting the stress vaporize by each thrust. "You like it, don't you?" Ren whispered out in a pant, trying his outmost to control his need to moan. "If I had known your sweet little ass felt this good, general, I would have bent you over the table long ago."**

Hux would rather die than accept how much Rens words excited him, and that was something big for a survivor like the ginger. Armitage let out a moan first, his hand wrapping around his own cock as he grimaced. He had told himself that he wouldnt do that...

**Ren rewarded the moan by biting Hux's shoulder, not hard enough to break the skin, but just enough to remind Hux about this evening for the next couple of days. "That's it, let it out. Be a good man, and tell me how much you like it." Ren breathed out, almost losing himself to a moan when he rammed into Hux, quickening his thrusts, mustering all the control he had to not lose himself so soon. Hux felt too damn good, and he hated it!**

Hux gasped. Ren knew how easily he bruised, that bastard. "Fuck-" The general was going to tell him to fuck off again, something he found pleasure in today. But Ren was truly crawling under his skin with those remarks, as if he could sense what buttons to push. What a dick. "-you.."

**With Hux's emotions so easy to detect, how could Ren stop himself from investigating what does buttons could do? If he could use it to his advantage, then that would serve him a purpose. What exactly, he hadn't figured out yet. "I'm the one fucking you." Ren breathed, straightening up to have a look at Hux's ass, the flesh turning a brighter shade of pink from the meeting between abdomen and rear. He closed his eyes, using the Force to nestle himself inside Hux's mind, immediately greeted by the pleasure the general felt, causing Ren to give in to his own moans.**

And the general felt his pleasure, too. Ren was in his mind, even if that's not where he was welcome. But for now, he should allow it. It was a strange feeling, a very abnormal sensation. Hux felt himself edge closer to his orgasm as he hear ren vocalising his feelings. The general groaned softly. Rens cock was bumping against his prostrate, and it surely cleared his mind. But rens presence amplified his senses; it provided a certain intimacy that frightened Armitage a little. But he was too busy to really form thoughts.

**It was a frightening form in intimacy, the kind Ren had never even attempted to explore before. He wanted to push it away, yet keep it there, investigate the emotions it brought with him. Being so tangled up with Hux, sensing his ever stroke of his cock, every thrust given to him by Ren's own cock; it became too much. Hux's climax hit Ren like a tidal wave. When Hux arched his back with a loud gasp, Ren let out a final groan of his own, feeling himself empty completely inside Hux, his cock throbbing when the general spilled over his own hand, leaving behind a white stain on the steel table, quickly starting to dry up. Both of them experienced each other's orgasm, the sensation nearly threw Ren off his focus, making him dizzy.**

Sex with a force user has other advantages than just the inappropriate use of the force, hux thought as he caught himself with one hand, Propping himself up on the table as the initial shock of the pleasure that rolled over his senses made him close his eyes.  "Have you ever tried something like that before?" Hux asked out of curiosity when he caught his breath again. He was still in the little high after the orgasm, shoving Ren from his mind but still quite cloudy in his thoughts.

**Ren quickly slid out with a sensitive grimace, breathing hard as he looked at Hux. The ginger was so flustered from the act, his pale skin had begun to show sign of heat rashes. He would have mocked the general for it, if it hadn't been for the question. He knew what Hux was referring to. "No, I haven't. You are the first person I have..." What word was he going to use? He paused for a moment. "...connected with, with the Force like that."**

"I'm sure it was in the.. heat of the moment." Hux rubbed his wrist along the back of his neck as he turned away from ren. "I'm going to have a shower now. Not going to stand around here, all dirty and disorderly." He said. Hux was a little overwhelmed with what they had just felt. Ren had never felt something like that, huh? At least not during sex. But for that split while, Hux could feel Rens thoughts and in a small way, his emotions. It was like ren had woven a string between them that connected like a wire. Hux never believed something like that to be possible, but his curiosity was peeked. However, The general wanted to avoid doing anything else he might regret after some sleep, so he headed to get himself cleaned up.

**A split moment that had left Ren vulnerable without realizing it at all. He knew he should wash himself as well, but he had no intention to remain too long in Hux's office. Connecting with someone like that hadn't been entirely planned out, nor did he think it possible. Hux had a chaotic, obsessive yet strictly organized conscious, and Ren had gotten a bite of it. Quickly getting dressed, he headed for the door, but didn't leave for his own chambers until he made one final remark. _"You are not eating enough... How am I going to continue to fuck you, when you starve yourself?"_**

The shower was turned on while hux heard Ren back in his mind. The remark caught him off guard. For one, it pulled him back to reality that ren would use the fact they fucked against him, and it would be a pain in the ass in the future. Quite literally. It also enraged him to think that they’d be doing this often. It was a one-time thing, at least until he needed it again! So Ren could shove his “continue” elsewhere.

Secondly, did Ren really know of how much he ate? It had been relatively unhealthy paired with the little amount of sleep he was getting, but that statement almost seemed like Ren was hiding the fact that he cared.

The general snorted under the hot water as he cleaned himself, already feeling the aftermath of their little play-time. Ren would not care, not in a million years. But what was that comment for, then? Puzzled and tired, the general decided to take a nap. He had already procrastinated enough today, a little more wouldn't hurt... Trying to ban the feeling of Rens presence from his mind, hux fell into an uneasy sleep.

~~

By the next day, Hux had manged to order his thoughts. After actually sleeping and eating something, he had gotten back on track. At least a little. Hux's loud ramblings were toned down, even if he still had many things to worry about, and he felt better walking about when his body had something to digest.

But when he woke up, he still couldn't believe that he had had sex with Kylo Ren in his office. Armitage had taken care of cleaning the mess from yesterday so you couldn't even see a tiny hint that it happened, but he knew that it did. Walking out of his quarters just a little stiffer than usual, hux was rebuilding the walls in his mind. He had lost control the last couple of days and he was not going to have that again. That stress relief had really helped, he realised. While checking his data pad as he made his way to the bridge, the general remembered what Ren had done yesterday during sex. That connection. It had been truly something else... but no, he couldn't think of that right now. He was busy. No matter if it intrigued him or not...

**No amount of meditation had given Ren a peace of mind. He had never intended for them both to be linked like that. It had just been sex, a mutual beneficial way to not only stop each other from arguing, but to relieve the increasing stress. But Hux had been in his mind, they had been linked together, felt each other... Ren roamed the corridors of the ship like a towering, masked, wraith. He could sense Hux already, not his rambling thoughts this time, but his walls. Why did I mention the eating...? Why did he decide to listen!?**

Why indeed. Hux was lost in the reports on his data pad when he looked up and saw Ren approaching along the Corridor. Something between them had changed because of yesterday, and the now clear-minded general did not know what to make of it. Sure, he could use it to his advantage, but he didn't want anything getting in his way. Emotionally speaking. "Ren." He simply greeted. When they passed each other by, Hux glued his eyes onto his datapad, not looking up again. His heart was beating just slightly faster. Why had ren invaded his mind yesterday? Why? Hux recalled how it was like nothing he had ever felt before. It had gotten deeper inside of him than he would've thought. What was the force? How could ren use it to connect them? Hux quieted his thoughts. For now... he had to focus on starkiller, his pride and life's work.

**"General." Ren replied, his mask making his waving voice cold and robotic. He was thankful for that, since Hux seemed to be sharing his own wonders about yesterday. It was just suppose to be something simple like fucking, and that was all. Ren should have had tighter restrains on himself... He shouldn't have reached out with the Force. Now everything was awkward. A minor officer came hurrying down the corridor, halting when he saw Ren. "Lord Ren! Supreme Leader demands to see you."**

**Ren blinked. Only him and not Hux? Surely his master already knew what had transpired?**

Hux gave Ren a glance, already trying to find explanations to why the supreme Leader was calling only Ren. His issues about figures like the supreme leader ran deep in his character, so wondering why Snoke called on only Ren was justified, even if irrational. Hux left the corridor and finally reached the bridge to take care of daily business. Because starkiller had to be completed. The general felt a surge of excitement at that thought,  almost smiling to himself as he ran some routine checks.

**Ren quickly spun around, hurrying down the seemingly endless halls of corridors. He was steeling himself, closing down his doubts and conflicts, denying to himself that he and Hux had slept together, that Ren had connected them with the Force. He told himself they were rivals, they hated one another and Ren would step over corpses to gain Snoke's ultimate favour. He didn't realise that by thinking so, a part of him was protecting Hux.**

Snoke in all his power had impossibly missed their little act yesterday.  A new mind linked to his student? Surely, the supreme leader would hold some sort of punishment for ren.. hux thought, also hoping that he himself would not get into trouble, but that was unlikely. Snoke had never told him "don't have sex with Kylo ren" or anything of that sort. And as much as hux was regretting yesterday, he also wasnt. He felt much more rested and focused, sharper and not as groggy as the past weeks. It had helped him quite a bit. Maybe because of the force bond, he speculated, but he could never be sure...

**Entering the holoroom, Ren knelt before the massive holoprojection of his master. Even so far from one another, Ren feared the creature's power, knowing how easily he still could punish Ren for disobedience, or simply out of pure whim. Ren made a short report of his meditation and training aboard the Finalizer, neither mentioning nor thinking about Armitage Hux. Appearing pleased of what he heard, Snoke made no comment about the sexual act which had transpired, much to Ren's great relief.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically their first fuck and some weird things happening ;)


	4. This should not be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something special between them.

**All Ren had left behind before leaving on his mission, was a tiny message left on Hux's personal holo tab that he would be gone for a few days. That Snoke had sent him away on a personal mission, a practical training session. But it had been so much more than just some practical...practice... Ren knew this had to do with him. No, it had to do with Ben Solo.**

**His mission had taken Ren to a remote island on the planet Naboo. He used to spend his summers there with Han and Leia, near the sweet water beach where he so often bathed. It was a trip down memory lane where his mission was clear; kill the villagers, remove all traces of the Organa-Solo having been there. Burn the houses to ashes. And Ren had done it. The first few hadn't left him with any thought of remorse. But he could sense their memories, how the elders still recalled Princess Leia, daughter of a once beloved queen of Naboo. The conflict had come not long after, making each blow of the lightsaber seem heavier, and harder to execute. The once so beautiful island village was nothing but smoldering ash and dismembered bodies by the time Ren left the planet in his private shuttle. He feel Ben scream inside of him, hating him for having raped what once had been one of his best memories.**

Hux would never think the supreme leader gave ren tasks like that. He imagined the rather physical training of lifting ships or houses or some ridiculous act that he had no part of. Then again, hux never really truly thought about Snoke was doing to ren, preoccupied with being praised for an insane amount of work. Equally insane as the amount of kyber crystals used for this planet. He had heard that Ren returned, but felt no need to greet him. He had a tight schedule after all, making him busy as a bee as he returned to his quarters. The general always valued his work very much, and did not want any interruptions. Signing things on his datapad, the ginger sat at his desk with his cup of tea when he felt something. It wasn't really feeling or sensing, it was simply there. Like a shift in the air around him. Hux suspected that ren had returned, but he had never been able to feel that properly. Or whatever verb you would use to describe this connection. Why would ren even initiate it again? Hux had believed in their unspoken truce of not speaking of or using that bond ever again... hux shuddered at the thought of calling it a bond.

**It was the crumbling mind of Ren which had decided to reach out again. He knew seeking comfort in Hux was laughable, the general thought nothing of him and Ren didn't think much of Hux in return. But as he roamed the ship, seeking refuge inside his own quarters, he was undeniably a wreck of nerves. Mentally killing Ben Solo by taking another identity had seemed so easy and perfect, but his past made itself all too known now. He didn't feel remorse for his crimes, those villagers were nothing to him. But they had been something to Ben, and that part was still alive somewhere, kicking and screaming at Ren, cursing his name for what he had done. Kylo Ren let out an echoing scream, punching the interior wall of his bathroom repeatedly, his aching knuckles only numbing the internal pain for so long. He had to reach out to Hux, he had to use that bond, calling for Hux, needing him, if nothing more than to hear his aggravating voice. But more than anything, Ren craved that dangerous intimacy the bond offered. It was...safe, somehow. A sanctuary where he believed to be safe from everyone. Even Snoke.**

And the general heard his plea. It was like a wounded animal that was trying it's best to survive, and feeling that from ren frightened the holy hell out of armitage. Ren had never shown himself weak to him before, but now... taking his datapad with him, hux made his way to Rens quarters. His conscience was telling him that he would do it for egotistical reasons. He would be able to use this against ren when push came to shove. But inside of him, the connection had woken something in that cold dead heart of his. The general knocked at rens door before taking the liberty to use his masterkey, the durasteel sliding open as the ginger entered. "Ren? Are you in here?" _Of course he was. He could 'feel' it. Just hear those thoughts._

**Ren hadn't expected Hux to come. It had just been a stupid, weak moment in his current state! Yet, hearing Hux's accent echo in his sparse quarters, he found himself more at ease, even if not much. Ren let his helmet stay on, exiting the bathroom. He wasn't going to give Hux the pleasure to see the wrecked, miserable expression he knew he carried. Hux would only see him as weak, a child. "I can both feel, and hear your thoughts." Ren stated, his voice wavering. He wanted to tear of Hux his clothes, throw him onto the bed, and fuck him until he could quite Ben from screaming. "I assume you got my message a few days ago _." Ask. Don't ask. Ask. Don't ask. Ask! Don't ask!_**

_"Ren, why can i hear you. Almost feel you?"_ Hux would not listen to Ren's garbled thoughts as he closed the door behind him. "Now it is you who is keeping me from working. What happened, Ren? Your voice-decoder cant keep you from sounding tormented." Ren was almost radiating sadness, fear and confusion. What in the hell happened? Hux kept telling himself that this inquiry was for the good of his ship and base, keeping Kylo Ren in a healthy mental state would avoid further expenses. The general **had** to ignore the fact that he was genuinely curious about Ren. Was that an aftereffect of being near someone so unprofessionally emotional? Was that it? Or did that experience in the force change something? For now, those thoughts were buried deep within him, not even formulated as actual speculation, no solid words. Feelings. So for a general who abhorred emotions of any sort, it was a given that he pushed those things aside.

**How was he going to formulate the right words? Expose everything to Hux? Of course he knew there were speculations both aboard the ship and down at the base regarding Ren's parentage. He had done a good job keeping the truth hidden from the common soldier and officer. But he also knew Hux was a man above average intelligence, he was sharp as a razor, dangerous, cunning, not afraid to kill to get his way. In the latter manner, he was much the same as Kylo Ren. Maybe that was why this bond between them appeared to exist, or had Ren somehow found a link to Hux? The general wasn't Force sensitive! No, this was all Ren's doing...somehow. He didn't have the energy to explore the why's in this matter. For now it was better to accept it existed. Maybe it could prove beneficial if he got too close to Snoke. "I don't know why you can. Obviously." Ren tried to sound nonchalant again. He preferred a raging Hux over this worrying... human being in front of him. "General, have you ever...went back to the past, destroyed a piece of it?" _Everyone knows what he did to his father._ "The turmoil... I had kill a piece of someone who is supposed to be dead." Saying it out loud, calling Ben a dead person...it felt good, better than gaining Snoke's initial attention.**

"Its called _killing the past_. Our entire organisation is built upon soldiers and officers who learn from past mistakes and cut themself off from their past lives." Ren was conflicted. Hux noticed that early on, but after coming back from the mission, Hux had the impression that Ren was being split in two. Unlike him, he was not perfectly cut out to be the ruthless man he was meant to be. _" supposed to be dead."_ He repeated. Looking at this young, conflicted man in front of him, hiding his own instability behind a mask of steel, Hux realised that Ren was still human. Once you have cut yourself off of emotions, the only mask you will need is the human face you carry.

Hux thought these things as he sat down on Rens bed, data pad still in hand, unaware of the small part of humanity buried under the rubble of a broken person and an evil man, that was still very much alive.

 He wasn't sure what to say. "I'm not sure how or why I should help you, Ren. Thats the one thing I'm not qualified for." Sitting on the bed and leaving a space next to him, Hux invited Ren to the only thing he had ever heard off. Maybe not experienced, but heard off. Not sex, not in this moment. Ren needed something human that hux wasnt sure he could offer.

**Cutting themselves off from their past lives. Snoke had often preached along those lines, though, using different words, but the lesson remained the same. Ren knew this, he knew why Snoke had sent Ren to that island, why he demanded the village to be burnt and the habitants murdered. Bloodshed was nothing, Ren quite enjoyed it as it let him loose some steam. But it circled back to who Ren used to be, a prequel to what he knew would be asked of him in the future. This, Snoke too had spoken a lot about. Ren needed to snuff out every thread that linked him to Ben Solo, that was the only way to become like Vader. To prove that Ren was worthy of his legendary bloodline. Taking off his helmet, dropping it down to the floor with a loud clank, he didn't care if the active bond between him and Hux allowed for the general to sense these things. He wanted the galaxy to know that he was of Vader's blood, he wanted to be awed for that reason. Feared. Powerful. Victorious over himself. "You decided to come, you must have a reason." Ren said as he took the invitation, sitting down next to Hux, curious about the offer Hux was giving him.**

"I was afraid you were going to destroy parts of my ship." Hux said honestly, not moving a single inch. If ren needed human contact, the general would offer if it kept him from breaking something. Or himself.

Even if there was a hint of his own needs, it was so small not even Kylo ren would be able to detect it. Ben solo, however...

"Why did you... connect again?" Hux asked, harsh tone just a shade softer. He wanted to know why ren had contacted him, and why hux actually came.

**"I was considering it, but I can't stand the high-pitched noise you make..." The tiny flicker of Hux's need caught his attention, but he couldn't tell if Hux was simply reflecting Ren's own needs. It was an odd thing to see Hux act almost human, as if he had a heart. For a moment, Ren considered if it was an act, an attempt made by Hux to try and lure out Ren's weaknesses. But if so, it wouldn't be something Snoke didn't already know. Ren let his red-shot eyes wander down over Hux's lips, soon tearing his gaze away. He craved contact, Ren realised. That was why he connected them. He loathed Hux, always had, but they had commit a crime together, and it made them... equals? Maybe, in some sense, anyway. They fucked willingly, and they had decided to fuck each other, not some low ranked officer with no power. Without saying anything, Ren let Hux feel these thoughts. It was easier this way, made it less dangerous. If he spoke loudly, maybe Snoke would be exposed to their agreement.**

When the general looked over to Ren for the first time to answer him, he stopped. Ren had just only taken his mask off and hux saw his red eyes for the first time. Kylo ren had this under control far less than he expected. The general also realised that if Ren turned and joined the resistance, the First Order would be done for. A powerful enemy with no counter would break their neck, and Hux could not let that happen. "I don't make a high pitched sound." His words were a little distant as they stared at each other. "Ren." His name sounded strange all of a sudden. Perhaps because the people that knew him either called him Kylo or Ben, and Hux was the only one who didn't use either of those.

On top of rens shocking appearance; when he opened the floodgates of his emotions, Hux was more than overwhelmed. He had always been indifferent to such things, he thought. Cold, calculating. But the man with so much power and anger and strength was sitting next to him, eyes red and almost begging for any sort of physical contact. "... Fine."

**There had been moments when Ren had thought about returning, when the light decided to test Ren's willpower by luring him into thinking that Leia would embrace him, forgive Ren of his crimes. But the dark side had prevailed and punishment ensured the moment Snoke sniffed it out. Ren never complained when he was punished, it reminded him of his true place. He belonged to Snoke, not the Skywalker twins. When Hux spoke his name, didn't sound like the general had just tasted something foul and rotting, the name sounded genuine, but again, maybe a trap. Not that Hux's thoughts seemed to display such an agenda. Not the shallow ones, at least. "Your voice pitches when you are pissed. It's aggravating, like listening to someone who scrapes a chalkboard with their nails." Ren wasn't trying to argue. This was just another typical banter, a way to remind himself that he shouldn't be sitting here with Hux, that they shouldn't be connected. Yet, the moment Hux said 'fine', Ren let his head rest on the general's shoulder, letting out a short breath, as if he had forgotten to breathe for a moment. "Let go of your  datapad, general..." Request, not demand. Please.**

The general was about to answer that again, but he let it be. Hux turned the screen off and lay it next to him as his own breath hitched. He told himself that this was all for the sake of his ship. Ren needed to be contained in any way possible, correct? But hux closed his eyes for a short moment, laying his hand close to rens, having their fingertips touch. Why he did so remained a mystery, but the split minute that followed left hux with more questions than before. It was a strange moment, like the entire ship had grown silent in this cold grey room. It was like a serene crack of time, like the galaxy around them stopped turning. Armitage Hux was completely quiet as both of them sunk into their essence. It was the force bond that made him feel this way, feel at all. A tranquil ambiance filled with nothing but their synchronising breathing. For a second, hux thought he could feel it to. The slow yet steady heartbeat of everything around them, the space between atoms, the force. So this was what it was like? A calming feeling and their calm heartbeats with no turmoil to disturb them. And for the second they were simply sitting there together, Armitage and Ren; it was all harmonious. Like magic. "Don't look behind, ren. You're not going that way."

Hux and ren were in their bond together now, and Hux could feel rens pain. A pain he seemed to recognise from a past he had left behind. The thought of the past brought him back to reality, shattering the silent seconds.

**Ren didn't move, fearing that if he did so, the spell that kept them this close and for once, in peace with each other, would break. He let himself focus on the touch of their fingers, Hux's seemingly irregular breathing, his rapid heartbeat. How human the general suddenly appeared to be, and how calm Ren for once felt in the other man's close presence. "No, I'm not going to look behind me." He was torn, but Ben had stopped to scream now. He could think clearer now as if Hux had momentarily stabilized his tormented emotions. He wasn't going to promise to not break Hux's precious ship, he wasn't going to promise to back down if he and Hux got into another verbal fight. But he could promise that he wasn't going to fall for the light. The Resistance was made up by lies and secrets, turning their backs on their own if they could spare themselves from certain death. Ren interrupted hid train of thoughts when he felt the shift in Hux, the tremour which brought them back to the now. He gripped Hux's hand by instict, needy for the silence that for just a minute made them allies. _"I know you feel it too; the pain."_**

Hux didnt take long to reply to that, his thin hand resting in rens soft but strong hand. "Maybe I did. But I killed it." blinking at the sudden chaotic reality, hux felt the urge to return to that little moment. The pocket of time that existed just for them. But he knew it was over, and who knew how long it would take for the next time? Maybe never? He did not like that thought.

Hux still had dignity, after all. "Ren, I have to get back to the bridge." His voice was steadfast, even if he didn't feel that way. Hux wanted to escape this, this feeling. These feelings he had always killed, he would kill them again. But he didnt want to, so he had to run.

**"Don't go. They can manage on their own for a few more minutes." Ren raised his head, his cheek still warm from where it had rested on Hux's shoulder. It was only now he could make out Hux's scent; what he thought was a cologne, smelled like bitter tea, nearly instantly recalling how Hux was a great enthusiast for tea. Personally, Ren hated the taste of tea. Nothing more than flavoured hot water. "Stay in this moment, don't force me to break the connection." Ren was stalling for his own selfish needs. He wanted to explore their bond, and he wanted to stall from having to report back to Snoke. What he had learned from Hux was enough to know he had a weakness, a past that, when used properly, could probably break the great general, but something told him, that wouldn't be needed. Hux didn't have to fear Ren using his weakness against him, any less than what Ren had to fear the same from Hux. Or maybe he was lulling himself into thinking so naively? He supposed time would tell.**

Hux felt like a babysitter, but not completely. Ren needed supervision, but hux was also hoping to gain something from this. He was starting to become uncomfortable. Not with ren, but with the emotions that were flowing between them. "You know they cant." Hux spoke softly when he looked in rens red eyes. _"I can feel your thoughts. You have calmed down a little."_

**"Go then..." Ren let go of Hux's smaller hand before rising up from the bed. A part of him wanted to convince Hux to remain, lure him with sex and further explorations, but he had known Hux long enough to know that the workaholic wouldn't bite. His thoughts had betrayed no lust for sex and Ren wasn't one to force it. Instead, he picked up his helmet and put it on, hiding himself. He wasn't going to leave his chambers with red eyes and cracking voice. Besides, the helmet helped him focus on his goals and the very walking symbolism of what he was. _"I suggest you eat something, general. Possibly get some sleep."_ Ren wasn't going to thank Hux for coming, not directly. Mentioning food and sleep was enough. It showed just enough...**

It did, indeed. "No time for that right now. The weapon will be ready within the next four to ten months, dependant on how everything goes." He simply stated, silently and secretly appreciating Rens 'concern'. Not real concern, of course.  Of course.

When ren released his hand, the connection felt severed. It was silent again, nothing but his own thoughts following a linear process in his head as he got up and straightened his uniform. "Don't destroy my ship." He said. Hux was retreating right now. Frankly, what had just happened was a little too overwhelming, too magical in his black and white life. He needed a long time to think about this.

**Ren let him go without as much as a word. He couldn't guarantee that he would leave the ship unharmed if he got unstable again and far as he saw it. It cost less to weld together a door, than to recruit and properly train a new officer. Alone with his own thoughts, Ren hurried back to the holo conference room. The walk gave him enough time to concentrate on his mission, focusing solely on what he had done there. He couldn't let Snoke be aware of what he had done. If the supreme leader saw him as weak and useless, Ren's life was in danger. He knew he was strong, but he also knew there were other children out there, more than willing to be taken under Snoke's wing. Ren couldn't allow for that, risking to be replaced and discarded.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boi this was cute id draw fanart if i was qualified to


	5. Careful, Ren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first events of tfa. If you were wondering what these boys were feeling during all those scenes :)

In the next months, Hux had pushed Rens connection out of his head. Times were frantic now, and he was not going to waste energy thinking about the why, the how, or other questions about their 'bond'. It was unbefitting of him and he had to ignore it, at least in this crucial time. Who knew, maybe it was part of rens training, or something along those lines. And now, first order troops had a reliable lead on Luke skywalker, something that had top priority to Snoke. Which was ridiculous. Even if skywalker joined the resistance, by the time they found him, the Republic would be obliterated. It would be nothing but ash, and not even a jedi like him could stop that from happening. Hux watched Rens shuttle leave, their course to Jakku. Ren could handle those things, but the Weapon - his utmost pride - would bring snokes true recognition. Kylo ren couldn't kill half as many people in that time period even if he tried. Overseeing the preparations at starkiller base were difficult, but the facility had grown. They were so close to completion and the big day, it made his heart leap with excitement like never before.

**Even Ren had for the moment decided to forget the bond. He hadn't used it ever since his mission on Naboo, and now, hunting down his uncle, he had no intentions to bring up the bond. This was part of his personal mission, the one Snoke had set him up for months now. Luke Skywalker had to die, he was a far larger threat than what Hux could imagine. Luke was a legend, he was hope, and that was the last thing the Republic and the Resistance needed. Even if Starkiller managed to destroy the Republic itself, the Resistance was still spread out, still a threat. If Luke joined Leia, the First Order could potentially face a larger threat. By the time Ren landed on Jakku, night had already fallen, the stormtroopers he had brought along ransacking the small settlement, taking captives, one of them an old man. Hearing the elder speak of Ben Solo, reminding Ren of his past, only made the sith more agitated, yet he felt no chaos striking the man down. He no longer felt the conflict in him when severing the ties to his past.**

Similar to Hux, ren was at a stage where he had moved on with his life, but who's past still haunted his subconscious, the deep core inside of him. Just that ren may tell himself he was not split in half anymore, something hux was not so sure of. Ren seemed very unstable with his anger issues. Saddled with the force, his co-commander was not very responsible with his power.. Ren arrived with a prisoner, boarding the Finalizer without the lead: a map. A map to skywalker. While walking to the bridge, hux passed ren in the corridor. They did not exchange words, nor looks. At least hux did not, keeping his eyes frontal and back straight, as he always did. They could talk about the mission later.

**Ren let his eyes follow Hux until the general was out of sight. He took a turn to the right, proceeding down an endless corridor. The prisoner hadn't cracked yet, and it was time for Ren to prove that no man had the willpower to resist him. He would get the information out of the prisoner. There was enough disappointing rage boiling inside of him, to make Ren stronger. It was either torture this..pilot until he spoke, or lash out at the ship. The latter, no matter how tempting, would just bring a furious general down his way. Ren didn't have time for that. Hux could wait. It's not like Ren wanted to converse with the general until they had some lead on the map.**

The general would indeed be furious if Ren destroyed some part of the ship again. Especially that bay door in that annoying hangar. Hux waited outside of the interrogation chamber as he scrolled through his data pad. The last months, he and Ren had avoided each other. The memory of the bond was cold and distant, at least hux needed it that way. It had felt too emotional, too intimate and personal. Ren and him did not have such a relationship. At any rate, they actually had something else to worry about. The weapon was so close to completion, and Hux was scheduled for the final all-round check in just a couple of hours.

**Ren could still dream about it, how he rested his head on Hux's shoulder. How their fingers had touched. How serene everything for a moment had appeared. Each time he woke from those dreams, Ren had to remind himself to not be led astray, that what he thought he had felt was nothing more than an illusion. Snoke had been more adamant about Ren letting emotional attachment, sever the ties. But he had never mentioned Hux as such a tie. He hadn't even thought much of Hux that day until he exit the chamber, surprised to find the general standing there. Ren hadn't summoned him! Steeling himself, bluffing the turmoil that boiled inside, Ren stopped in front of Hux. "It’s in a droid. A bb unit."**

"Well then. If it's on Jakku, we'll soon have it." Hux said, standing in front of ren with his greatcoat draped over his shoulders. It has been a while since he walked around with his greatcoat, but he had to start wearing warmer if he was to head to the starkiller base oft inspection. The general looked at rens mask, not finding his eyes, he himself keeping behind a neutral face. It was the first time in ages they even spoke a word to each other...

**"I leave that to you." Ren walked away before giving Hux the chance to reply. It felt strange talking to the general, made Ren almost feel...as if he was doing something he shouldn't. If he broke the silence between them, what else would be released with the now open gates?**

Hux watched the brooding figure leave as he looked into the interrogation chamber. The resistance pilot was a little bloody and hurt. He wondered if Ren wanted him executed.. if the general had the saying, he'd kill him already. Resistance scum shouldn't even be given the chance to escape. Not that that could ever happen. His stormtroopers were perfect. Huxs mood lifted with that thought, he started making his way to his office. He'd give his subordinates the order to bring the finaliser close to Jakku, and return to the starkiller base as quickly as possible. Hopefully ren wouldn't prove incompetent while retrieving the map.. passing a very nervous stormtrooper in the corridor, if hux had been ren, he might’ve been able to sense the traitorous thoughts.

**Not more than half an hour later the Finalizer roared with alarms going off. There had been a THE-fighter stolen during refuelling, the culprits of this theft remained unknown to the soldiers below. Yet Ren already knew, storming out of his room, pushing by the workers who didn't move aside fast enough. Bridge. He had to get to the bridge.**

Hux had been alerted the moment the tie-fighter left the bay door. They had even fired at the close range turbo lasers. What a pain in the ass. Hux was furious, even if he did not show. How did this happen?! Who??! "Use the ventral cannons." Hux replied to a slightly scared lieutenant.

**Ren marched up to the bridge, fists clutched, looming like a large, angry predator waiting to snap at the very first person who cared to cross him. "General Hux. Is it the Resistance pilot?" He hoped he was wrong, that what he had sensed was nothing more than an error created by the fact they now spoke again. But he knew, Ren already knew, and he wanted to blame Hux for it.**

That voice made hux want to let out a stressed sigh as he turned to look at him as he walked into the room. "Yes, and he had help." Hux hesitated as a vein appeared on the side of his forehead. He hated admitting this, but given recent information... "from one of our own." Walking to one of the databoards, hux looked at the many lights. "We're checking the registers now to identify which stormtrooper it was." He said quickly to avoid having ren comment on that.

**Ren reached out with the Force. That night on Jakku, there had been one Stormtrooper which wavered in following orders. Ren had been so stupid for not paying more attention back then! "The one from the village. FN-2187." He replied coldly, doing his outmost to restrain himself from lashing out at Hux in front of everyone on the bridge. Hux's so called Stormtrooper Program wasn't as perfect as the general had made it out to be. And Ren felt a sort of glee knowing that Hux had indirectly made a costly mistake.**

Hux's eye would've twitched if he didn't know any better. Ren was playing coy, but he must've sensed that troopers treacherous thoughts early on. It wasn't indirectly only hux's fault, it was rens as well for not apprehending him. Ignoring Ren, he turned to  the Lieutenant Mitaka. "Ventral canons hot, sir." He said, voice a little timid and stark in contrast to hux's cold "Fire." that followed soon after. Hux had not made a mistake, he denied that fact. He'd have to check in on the Absolution once in a while to see how it was going there..

As it turned out, their ventral cannons managed to hit the Tie-Fighter, and down it on Jakku. Obviously, they were going back for the map. Dispatching a squadron, Hux stayed on the bridge as Ren joined him. Hux began walking, annoyed that Ren was keeping up his pace. After all those months, Hux had never forgotten how much of a pain in the ass Kylo Ren could be. "Supreme Leader Snoke was explicit. Capture the droid if we can, but destroy it if we must."

**"How capable are your soldiers, General?" Ren questioned, making sure he wasn't addressing Hux by name. He distanced himself from Hux this way, making sure both of them knew they were nothing more than commander and lord. They had no bond, they had no mutual affair. Thinking like this made it easier to remain by Hux's side, concentrating on the loathing he felt for the general. How they were rivals and how easily Hux could turn against Ren in order to gain Snoke's praise.**

"I won't have you question my methods." There was a certain anger and spitefulness in his voice. His methods were perfect, and he was a living example. He had never even thought of defecting, not once. Hux made a bigger step so he could turn and face Ren front on. He was right. No bond. There was nothing but rivalry between them, and if he had to, Hux would kill Ren. He would. Hux bit down any doubts about that, convincing himself, fooling himself best he could. For his ambitions, he would get rid of kylo ren...!

He would. **Had** to.

**Ren curled his lips into a smug smirk under his mask. This was the Hux he was used to, the snarling general who wasn't afraid to come into a conflict with Ren. This rivalry between them was familiar, Ren reminding himself that he hated this man. He too fooling himself into thinking he could so easily kill Hux if needed. "They are obviously skilled in committing high treason." Ren stated coldly. "Perhaps Leader Snoke should consider using a clone army." He hit where he knew it'd hurt: Hux's pride.**

Oh, now the ginger general was agitated. "My men are exceptionally trained- Programmed from birth!!" He snapped quickly, as bold as standing only inches away from Ren as he glared at him. His program was perfect! Ren had really hit the nail on the head with that remark. Hux was the perfect product of his system, and Fn-2187 must've been faulty to begin with.

**This was the reaction Ren had hoped for, to see that fire in those green-grey eyes, feel the general's growing hatred. It matched Ren's own, centred him, made him believe the lie that they shared no bond. After all, they had spent months not talking to one another. "Then they should have no problem retrieving the droid. _Unharmed._ " He emphasized, voice grave and doubting.**

Ren was making it easy for hux to detest him, wanting only to feel the burning rage. Actually, not wanting to feel anything at all! "Careful, Ren. That your 'personal interests' not interfere with orders from Leader Snoke." His retort was sharp and dangerous, showing Ren just who he was messing with. His rival. Both vying for attention and approval. And in that relationship, only anger and rage had space.

**Ren leaned in closer to Hux, staring him right in his eyes. "I want that map. For your sake, I suggest you get it." He threatened before walking pass Hux, managing to take in his tea-like scent. Good, he could feed of this detest they felt. The anger and the growing tension. He didn't want to remind himself of what this tension once had led them to...**


	6. And all the rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of tfa, including the scene we DIDNT GET TO SEE, THANK YOU JJ.  
> -p

**Without a doubt, Hux was going to come breathing down Ren's neck the very moment he got word about the destroyed wall and console. Mitaka had delivered the bad news about the droid having escaped and was no longer to be found on Jakku. Hux's insurance that his stormtroopers would fetch the droid had failed and now, they risked the Resistance getting to Luke before Ren did. He should have gone down there himself! It would have saved them all this trouble! Now he feared that Snoke would come to punish Ren for not having acted at all. "Anything else?" Ren asked, feeling how the poor lieutenant hesitated before answering. "The two were accompanied by a girl." Mitaka squeaked out, before gasping for breath when Ren took a hold of the officer by the Force, choking him. The memory flashed by of when Ren had demonstrated his powers before Hux, strangling the general in their early stages of...having to deal with one another. Even then, Hux had been strong and defiant. Ren hated how he could almost admire the general for it. No, not admire. He hated Armitage Hux! Ren pulled Mitaka closer, hissing at him, allowing himself to pretend that the officer was Hux. "What girl?"**

Unlike Hux, Mitaka was scared out of his boots. He couldn't breathe and Rens entire presence was intimidating! He wondered why it was him who got to feel Kylo Rens anger, hoping that he would live to see another day.

~~

Hux heard himself talking, even if it felt distant. "Supreme Leader, I take full responsibility for th-" Hux stiffened even more when the supreme leader almost sprung from his chair and his voice boomed through the hall. "GENERAL!" There was a wave of fear overrunning hux and he was wide alert, and it echoed through his entire body. It felt too familiar. "Our strategy must now change." Snoke said, seeming to have calmed himself again. And at this, Hux’s fear was replaced with childish excitement, almost joy. His life's work. To be put to the test!! "The weapon. It is ready." Ren would be able to see the childish excitement in his eyes. "We shall destroy the government that supports the Resistance, the Republic. Without their friend to protect them, the resistance will be vulnerable, and we will stop them before they reach skywalker."

A short silence followed as hux watched the supreme leader think. "Go. Oversee preparations."

Hux's heart almost audibly skipped a beat. "Yes, Supreme leader." Had hux had any less self-control, he would have grinned at Ren. But turning to leave his eyes met with Kylos mask and his mouth formed into something akin to a snarl. Hux felt the adrenaline in his veins and the excitement kicking him off. All these years. All the blood and sweat that went into this project. Countless meals skipped and countless sleepless nights. Hux was proud, no doubt about it. The day.  The glorious day. It was finally here.

**If Ren hadn't been in the presence of Snoke, he would have made a remark. For now he had no other choice but to remain silent, observing the general. He had half the mind to destroy the hangar door again in a childish fit of jealousy. But what was he really jealous off? That Snoke was praising Hux, or that Hux wasn't paying mind to Ren? His petty need for the small moment they once shared almost broke through. But once he was alone with Snoke, Ren looked up at the supreme leader when he spoke up. "There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?" The creature asked. Ren nodded. "Yes." He was soft spoken, scared and submissive. He was glad that Hux wasn't here to see this side of Ren. The boy, not the sith lord. Snoke continued. "There's something more. The droid we seek is aboard the Millennium Falcon. In the hands of your father, Han Solo."**

**Ren blinked in surprise. He hadn't anticipated this and hearing about his father...he didn't know how to feel. The voice of Ben was slowly starting to wake up and Ren had quite it down before Snoke caught on.**

**With a cold voice, Ren frowned. "He means nothing to me."**

**"Even you, master of the Knights of Ren, have never faced such a test." Ren could sense the doubt in Snoke, both of them knew what was to come, what Ren was going to have to do. This was just like Naboo, only...more personal. Far more direct and intimate. With a steely resolve, Ren didn't let his worry take over. "With the grace of your training, I will not be seduced."**

**"We shall see." Was all Snoke said and when Ren began to leave, he found it hard to deny the torn emotions growing in him, resisting the temptation to reach out to Hux.**

**~~**

In just four hours time, Hux had assembled all the starkiller-base's stormtroopers in the large assembly are in front of the main fortress. Looking at his troops, hux felt like could jump off of the announcement balcony and survive with not a scratch. So many years poured into this for this moment. Words could not describe his ecstatic feeling, the urge to start laughing and crying and actually feeling for once. It was strange, but this sense of accomplishment was not something bad. It proved how hard he worked. And if it failed, Hux would become very, very stressed. Desperate, broken. But he would not give up, and he believed that it would work. It had to. "Today is the end of the republic." Hux spoke loudly, even if his small microphone ensured that every single stormtrooper of the thousand units in front of him heard his words. He paused for effect. Armitage Hux felt a different arousement, not a sexual kind, with his troops in front of him, listening to his every word, and his subordinates behind him. Lieutenants, captains. All of them were listening to him to watch his work. "The end of as regime that acquiesces to disorder! At this very moment, in a system far from here... the new republic lies to the galaxy while secretly supporting the treachery of the loathsome resistance." Hux could feel the planet beneath him as he continued. This moment.. he was going to relish in it for all eternity if things went well. "This fierce machine which you have built-" in his mind, hux gave himself very much of the credit, but in as speech, 'we' was always more rallying, "-upon which we stand, will bring an end to the senate! To their cherished fleet!" That's right. He was about to wipe the Republic off the face of the galaxy. "All remaining systems will BOW to the first order! And will remember this.... as the last! Day! Of the republic!" Raising his fingers to emphasise, His shouts echoed in the vast space, and the collective rattling of armour was music to his ears as the stormtroopers below him raised their left fist collectively. He had almost spat out his words. The stormtroopers were Rallying to his cause. The blood rushed in his veins when the wave of collective clicking of boots echoed like his voice, the Stormtroopers turning to face away, all at alert. The generals voice was a searing sound as he called: " FIRE!"

And the entire planet rumbled beneath their feet. From the low rumble all around them, Hux knew that it was working. It was going to work. The short silence was followed by an immense and sudden burst of red, fiery light.

His lieutenants shielded his eyes. The Stormtroopers took a step back to find footing when the shock wave pushed them back. But hux was too pumped to move only an inch, his face relaxing into a cold mask as he watched the red beam streak across the sky, painting everything on this snowy planet red. It worked. Hux's life's project worked. Hux counted the seconds, and he was sure of it. Now was the time where his weapon hit the hosnian system, he had gone over the calculations often enough. At this very moment, the entire republic was being wiped out. His cannon has hit five planets, incinerating billions and billions of living creatures. How did that feel? He always wanted to know, and now the time was here. For his cause, Hux had committed genocide. And he believed he didn't feel anything but accomplishment, pride. In a way, that was true. In another, not so much.

His most hated enemy, the republic, was gone. Hux could almost not believe it.

He had done it.

**Hux's voice rang out through every speaker on the nearby cruises orbiting Starkiller. The Finalizer especially. Those aboard the ships paused their work, listening to every word, smiling, silently cheering. They had all waited for this day, hoping that in the end, it would work. The only one to not join the collective cheers was Kylo Ren. He stood on the bridge, not giving Hux much credit. The general must have practiced that speech for months now, and though it was a powerful rally, Ren felt nothing but determination for his own cause. But he couldn't help but to sense some form of marvel when the galaxy lit up in red, the weapon activated as it searched for its target. The Force trembled, paused in its existence before Ren wad overcome by the screams of billions of people. He sensed their fear, their last wishes, their confusion and then...nothing. The Force was as quiet as the grave could be. It felt as if someone had blown out a candle, the heat quickly disappearing. A whole system gone in a matter of minutes and Ren had felt it! Hux may have built this weapon, but Ren had been given the pleasure to feel those lives turn into atoms. The weapon had worked, and he wondered if Vader had felt this too, when the Death Star disintegrated Alderaan. _Well done, general._**

When Hux retreated back into the Fortress, he was greeted with applause. Something that rarely happened in the first order, due to his strong sense of absolute discipline. But discipline called for praise where praise was due. After getting a confirmation that the hosnian system was no more, he was greeted with grinning faces. "Ladies and Gentlemen.. We have successfully wiped out the new Republic. Starkiller was a resounding success. After all these years of work, our cause has paid off. I'm afraid we're currently in a bit off a dangerous stage, so i cannot allow any form of celebration just yet. The resistance will not give up so easily. So, everybody, stay at your stations and follow further commands. But the holiday will come once the first order has settled in! You've earned it. We all have." Cheers followed his little rousing speech. "But for now, we will be recharging the weapon." Huxs eyes were dark with the feeling of power still pumping his veins.

Now he truly had been victorious. What had Ren thought...'

**Ren barely had a time to breathe not long after Starkiller's demonstration of power. The droid had been found, Ren and a smaller platoon of troops sent to find the droid and the girl. He hadn't expected the Resistance to appear, but it didn't matter. He had gotten half of what he come for; the girl. She had seen the map, she was the key to find Luke. Yet, he hadn't expected what came next. The girl had been strong with the Force, stronger than what he had anticipated. And she had fought back, crawled under Ren's skin, exposed his fear. By the time he left the interrogation room, Ren was shaking. The girl was dangerous.**

Ren was already in the hall when Hux entered, just to hear Snoke ask about the droid. Ren was hesitant to answer. "Ren believed it was no longer valuable to us." He interrupted, joining Ren on the platform, straining his neck to look up at the huge projection. "That the girl was all we needed. As a result, the droid has most likely been returned to the hands of the enemy. They may have the map already." Hux was purposely making Ren look bad. He had passed him on the way back, and not a single word about his huge success. His pride had truly been a little hurt..

**"Then the Resistance must be destroyed before they get to Skywalker." Snoke sighed. Ren could feel the supreme leader's growing annoyance. Ren had acted on what he believed to have been the right choice. The girl had seen the map and all Ren had to do was to break her, then they could dispose of Luke before he reunited with Leia and the Resistance.**

Ren should have known better. Memories were faulty and not to be trusted, something both of them could agree on.  We have their location. We tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system." Hux replied, cocksure as he was.

**"Good. Then we will crush them once and for all. Prepare the weapon." Snoke commanded, looking at Hux. Ren was still facing away from Hux, appearing to be ignoring his presence. No, he hadn't congratulated the general... For why would his praise matter, when everyone else had already applauded him? What Ren could remember, Hux had only once been open for Ren's praise, and that time they had slept together, then spent months not saying a word. It occurred to Ren now that the so called deal they had apparently was no longer... anything. He didn't allow himself to ask why.**

Hux looked over at him before leaving the room. He was too ecstatic to feel any sort of anger as he returned to the bridge, commanding the weapon to be charged once more. Watching his officers, hux closed his eyes for a second. That had all happened. It really had. Now was the first quiet moment he could truly think if what he had just done.

**Being alone, Ren was able to speak up. Hux's presence didn't seem to affect him anymore. Not At all. "Supreme Leader, I can get the map from the girl. I just need your guidance."**

**"If what you say about the girl is true, bring her to me." Snoke replied, leaning back in his chair before the projection cut out, leaving Ren standing there alone. For a moment, just a brief one, he thought of Hux. But he felt nothing. Just another obstacle in his way. A man he decided he no longer had a deal with. If Hux had meant what he said that day, they would have met more often.**

**~~**

**Ren knew this moment would come. But standing there on the catwalk facing Han Solo, Ren hadn't anticipated the swirl of emotions that threatened to implode on him. His father, a man he hadn't seen since the day he left with Luke was making such a simple request. He wanted Ren to take off his mask... Out of all the things to demand or request, it had to be this. Ren hesitated, trying to determine if this was a trap, but he sensed no danger coming from Han. Just...heartache. But also something more; doubt. He didn't know for sure if Ren was still Ben, if his son had already died.**

**"What do you think you'll see if I do?" Ren heard himself ask. The mask kept his emotions hidden, it provided a shelter for him, allowed him to feel without standing out as weak. Now Han wanted to take that away from Ren. Just like how he took away Ren's former dreams of family.**

**Han took a step closer and Ren tensed up, preparing himself, but the father never reached for a blaster. There was only pain in his face. "The face of my son." came the answer. It was honest, begging. Ren held his breath. He could feel how he wanted to oblige, how he wanted to throw the mask off, become Ben and run into the arms of his father... But Snoke's words rang inside of him. The supreme leader had prepared him for this moment. All of this was a test and if Ren failed, if he just as much as thought of really giving, he would have failed. But he obeyed, unclasping his helmet and let it drop.**

**Han spoke but Ren barely wanted to listen, fighting back against his own turmoil, fighting the light that wanted to conquer him. But Ren knew what he had to do, and as much as it saddened him, it thrilled him. "I'm being torn apart. I want to be free from this pain." Ren said, voice almost giving up. Yes, he wanted to be free, but not for the reason Han seemed to think. The struggle inside Ren, between the light and the dark, it hurt so much, made him unbalanced. He wanted to be free from that, and the only way to do so, was to do as Snoke said. Cut the ties to the past, burn it to ashes. He reached his lightsaber out, Han in his naive fatherly belief that his son was still there, took the bait. Ren could have laughed  if he wasn't hurting. He didn't want to do this, but he had to! He had to be free! He bit down his tears, his entire body shaking, but was it anticipation of the act to come, or Ben weeping for the loss? Ren had no time to speculate. His finger acted without hesitation, the lightsaber ignited as it pierced right through Han. Ren gasped, surprised that he had managed it, Ben howling inside. Han didn't carry a look of betrayal when he reached out to touch Ren, there was only love. And...forgiveness? Ren could feel Han's last thought; he forgave Ren for this. He too had known this could happen, and he had let it. Ren wanted to scream and shout at Han for not having been trying harder. He wanted to yell at his father for just letting Ren kill him without struggle! Han who never protested too much when Luke took him, didn't put up a fight when Snoke now had Ren fully in his clutches. As Ren watched Han fall down from the catwalk, swallowed up by the abyss, Ren felt how he hated Han for those reasons. Han never fought for his son. Han had never loved him, and it fed Ren's anger, just as much as it made him weak, unable to form a solid thought. Ren had no one that would ever fight for him. Not Han, not Luke, not Hux. Not even Snoke.**

"Ren." Hux had not felt the connection in months, and standing on the bridge, trying to keep his subordinates in control, it had overwhelmed him out of nowhere. The sudden pain and helplessness and confusion he felt.. the anger.. he knew that anger. Ren had called to him again, even if he couldn't physically answer this time. He was not his babysitter. But those emotions, of which he had been so devoid off, felt so strong it almost knocked the general off of his feet.

Hux was currently in a state of panic, having dispatched all squadrons to deal with the damage that the oscillator had taken and to finally kill those rebel scum. The destruction of the oscillator could prove fatal to starkiller if not handled properly...  when the next batch of bombs exploded, he was beyond anger and panic. Starkiller had strong walls and shields, but if they found a weakspot, Armitage wasn't sure how long the oscillator would survive. The battle was raging before their eyes, and the alarms blaring in his ears just made him numb. And then that shock wave of pain from ren -why had he connected again? What happened?!- as if he had been shot. "Ren. Can you hear me? Starkiller is.. it's in jeopardy. You need to kill those traitors. What happened?! Ren? Ren?" Was ren even aware that he had initiated their connection? Was there something that had happened that had forced the desperation inside of kylo ren to search for him? Hux had no time for all these questions, feverishly watching from the command centre as he could do nothing. His cold heart felt like dropping when he saw the bright flames on his planet. His weapon. But then... "Weapon at full capacity in thirty seconds." He heard a voice say, snapping him back to reality. They still had a chance. "Prepare to fire." He said coldly.

**Ren was equally as surprised to know he had reached out to Hux, yet hearing his worried... It soothed a little of the chaotic pain. "I did it. I killed Han Solo. I killed him. I passed the test, I wasn't seduced. I killed my father. I killed him." Ren was rambling, excited and shocked. But he had done it! He had DONE it! "I'm pursuing the traitor and the girl. Leave the base. It won't last." The only centre he had right now was Hux. He hated the man, but he needed him at the same time. Somehow. He could figure out the why once this battle was over.**

Hux noted rens feelings. He spoke of pride and passing the test, but inside, he was aching. It was almost surpassing his own anger. "get them. Kill them. And.. be careful." Hux did not know why he thought that, but his mind was soon distracted as the oscillator exploded. They would not be able to fire. His planet... Hux was horrified as he retreated, stepping backwards before heading deeper into the facility. He couldn't bear to see the chaos amongst his subordinates. It hurt him.

**Ren felt the tremor under him, the heat escaping through the cracks of the planet. Something had gone horribly wrong and despite Ren now chasing Rey and Finn through the snow, he needed Hux to be careful as well. Not only for his own sake, but Snoke... The thoughts trailed back to Han and what Ren had did. Rey called him a monster. Was he? No, he had done what was needed! Han had to die! Ren had to become as powerful as Vader! If he had to kill Rey, so be it. Maybe she too was a threat to him and Ren's goals. If so, and if she couldn't be turned, then she too must die at his hands. "Leave!" Ren demanded Hux, cutting out their connecting. No more distractions for them both. Not now.**

The silence left hux too much room to explore his own defeating thoughts. In the distance, the oscillator exploded. And the entire planet shook, just as hux did. He was struggling to keep it calm and collected, struggling very hard. Something had gone awfully wrong... was it rens fault? What had gone wrong?!

"Supreme Leader." Hux said as he rushed into the holochamber as he staggered, avoiding a piece of falling debris. His heart... it was jumping out of his chest and plummeting at the same time. Heartsick was indeed the perfect word to describe Armitage Hux as he looked up at Snoke for further instructions. Like a scared child that had messed up and was now asking his father for guidance. He hated that it felt that way. "The fuel cells have ruptured. The collapse of the planet has begun." Hux said, voice almost cracking with anxiety and helplessness. Snoke paused, a long hiatus that made Hux want to tear out his own heart, the loud animal in his chest trying to escape his ribcage. "Leave the base at once and come to me with Kylo Ren. It is time to complete his training." Hux did not wait any further, turning on his heel as he marched as quickly as he could to the hangar bay. On the bridge without him, it must be chaos.... he couldn't stifle his Pain, and Rens had just confused him. What had happened?! He hated the feeling of being unable to do anything, and not have complete control over everything...

**The snow was cold, yet the air so boiling hot that Ren thought his skin was going to melt. He was bleeding, wounded. Not only on the outside, but he was hurting down into his core. The scavenger girl had bested him, a master of the Force! He wanted to excuse his failure, blame it on the wound Chewie had ensured him. The blast against his abdomen. He could feel how the planet was crumbling under him, threatening to disintegrate and take him along. Ren was alone, so damn alone and lost. Was he going to die here? He collapsed on the snow, crawling despite his body objecting to every movement. He had failed. Starkiller was doomed and Ren had failed. He wanted to die, rather than to potentially face Snoke's limitless wrath. What torture would his master now put him through? No, Ren would rather die here along with the planet. His failure too great. Yet...he reached out what he thought was one last time to Hux. Maybe to say goodbye, or maybe to feel that false intimacy one last time; how they had fucked, how they had touched. He knew Hux was alive, he knew the general was for some reason still on the planet. Idiot! "It's going to crack. Leave. The girl and the traitor got away." He said nothing of his own wounds. He said nothing of the burning pain across his face. Was he to be disfigured?**

The connection was severed; their minds both too uneasy to form any sort of bond. At least for now. Hux thought this was a suicide mission as his small shuttle roared to life with nothing but seven of the starkiller officers in it, good ten stormtroopers, and two pilots in the cockpit. "I have the signal. Transferring coordinates now. Hurry." The shuttle left the crumbling base just in time, Hux holding on to the brace-rail as they hurried to ren. Hux always knew it was a wise idea to place a tracker on him. The shuttle landed on what seemed to be the slowly sinking earth, the snow melting rather rapidly as the shuttle hovered above it. "Quick, you six, spread out, the rest follow me! Retrieve Kylo ren."

Hux did not believe in fate, but Ren was rather lucky that it was hux who was looking down at him, injured in the snow. For a second, their bond flickered to life. "There you are." Hux looked down at an injured ren, their eyes meeting for a split second before hux ordered his men to carry him into the shuttle. They were barely off the ground when the shuttle had to lift, zooming away from the collapsing planet. And Hux’s collapsing life's work.

**The silence of not hearing Hux seemed to be the worst. He had decided to ignore Ren, then. Save himself and leave his rival to die. Ren would probably have done the same if their roles had been reversed. He closed his eyes, feeling the cold snow melt against his back. He  couldn't muster a scream of torment, no matter how much he wanted to. His body was giving up, accepting his fate. Snoke wasn't going to come for him. No one was. No one knew where Ren was, for that matter. Then, he felt it. Hux's words. The general hadn't ignored him? Ren opened his eyes, desperately searching the area with a wild gaze. Something moved between the trees and light suddenly shone on him. But Ren didn't see the stormtroopers. He saw only Hux. The agonized general had put his own life at jeopardy to find Ren. He thought he was going to cry at that moment, feeling nothing but honest gratefulness. He tried to sit up, arm stretched out towards Hux. He wanted to say 'thank you', he wanted to send his thankfulness, compare Hux to an angelic creature that had come to rescue his rival. Hux was right there, in the flesh. Ren wasn't going to die and it was all thanks to the general. Before Ren slipped into unconsciousness, he managed a pained smile. Hux had come for him. That was all that mattered. "You came."**

"I did." if the supreme leader had commanded him to stay on the planet and die, this would have been his next course of Action. Ren was a powerful rival, but an even more powerful ally. But snoke hadn’t commanded him to die, so.. kylo ren looked like was about to cry as hux walked next to the stretcher ren was on, entering the shuttle. Not trusting anyone else, always believing he had to do most things himself, Hux had isolated himself and ren in the furthest compartment as he used the shuttles first-aid-box. Ren had an ugly gash across his face, but he was bleeding in so many other places... had he truly been desperate? Hux had horrible heartache this whole time, but ren was alive. It felt like a small victory in all of this disaster, all of this debris. He was unconscious on the stretcher, not able to hear him. For a split second, hux lost his control, slamming his fist against the wall. Once. Twice. His knuckles almost cracked after the sixth, at least it felt like that. Hux let out a yell of frustration, his leather hand barely making a dent in the durasteel. There was blood seeping through the leather, and those bruises would stay for at least a week. He breathed out, calming himself as he sat back down. But he had just lost the last seven, eight years of his life. All that stress... those rebels. He'd kill them. Hux felt an even stronger hate than before. Those bastards that blew up his weapon, almost killed ren and would find skywalker... they would pay.

**By the time Ren managed to regain his senses, he was aware of one thing stronger than his own grief and pain. Hux was hurting. His mind was weeping, mourning, suffering a heartache Ren didn't think possible for the cold general. Ren let his eyes open, finding Hux sitting not far from his cot. Without a word, he permitted himself to dwell in Hux's mind, drink in his sorrow and hatred, surprised how they both were hurting, how their pride and become bleeding wounds. "Your hands..." Ren was too groggy to even muster strength to speak. But he had to see what Hux done to himself. The stupid idiot had come back for him! Ren couldn't deny his gratefulness, not sure if Hux had acted on his own will, or been forced to. He craved the first mentioned, but dared not ask. Not yet.**

"you almost died. What happened out there?" Hux ignored the comment about his hands. He needed the pain to get himself back into reality, his anger overflowing. But he had calmed down a little. He had to get everything back under control, including himself. But the connection made it harder for him to suffocate his emotions. "Ren. You look terrible.”

**With a painful effort, Ren forced himself to sit up, clutching his side. Chewie had fired at him after Han's death. Chewie, who used to love and adore Ben Solo as if the boy had been his own son. Ren pushed the memories away, hoping Hux didn't catch on. It was weakness and he couldn't allow it! Not again! Strangely, he feared Hux would mock him, despite the current state of the two men. "I failed. That girl...!" Ren wanted to roar, but tried to focus on Hux. The ginger looked like a walking mess. Ren reached out his hand, demanding to see what Hux had done to himself. "Stop being so damn stoic! Let me see."**

"It's nothing." Hux said a bit too loudly. They both didn't want the other to see their weaknesses, but both hux and Kylo had felt the others emotions. They both knew they could not mock the other, for the both had exposed their weakness to each other. Hux got up, pacing a little before deciding to sit down next to Ren, beside him on his cot. The finalizer was in a different sector to escape any sort of damage, and this shuttle was slower. So they had about an hour and a half until they arrived. "Lie down. You're in no condition to sit." The generals voice had softened a little. Hux smoothed his hair back. Ah, it had gotten dishevelled over the course of the day...

**"It's something. You are bleeding, don't try and hide it from me." Ren countered. He did as asked but didn't take his eyes off Hux. He didn't like this predicament. They were both weak and damaged, their goals and dreams crushed by the Resistance. And it made Ren desire comfort, not to lash out. He was in no position to lash out, and Hux looked too destroyed to lecture Ren. This, this was by far the most frightening realisation.**

"You're bleeding too." Hux simply retorted, taking off his gloves. It looked a little worse than expected, but the pain was good. It reminded him that not feeling was a far better option. He used the tiny sink to wash the initial blood off, the stinging pain was another reminder of today. Kylo ren had been bested by a scavenger.. it seemed that today really had been a horrible day for him. Hux sat back down next to ren, almost touching him as he looked down. "You were lucky I placed a tracker on you. Otherwise you'd be dead."

**"If I was in any state for it, I'd be pissed." Ren confessed with a groan. The idea annoyed him greatly but at the same time, he was beyond thankful. Without the tracker, he'd be dead. Ren truly owed his life to Hux and it didn't feel good. He didn't want to owe the general anything! Sitting back up, he boldly took Hux's bleeding hand, feeling how cold the general was, how he was in pain. Hux lost Starkiller and Ren had lost to an untrained teenager. The humiliation was too much bare. "I have had worse." Ren grumbled, lifting Hux's hand. He projected an image to Hux, as if to test virgin ground: an image of Ren kissing the blood away from Hux's knuckles instead of saying 'thank you', instead of verbally tell Hux, that Ren was alive only because of him.**

Hux closed his eyes. He should not be enjoying that scene, but he did. It had something appealing to it, and ren, for once, was too tired to throw a tantrum. Just as he was too tired to get mad. Why was it that it was Ren he shared these moments with? When they were feeling horrible, they could always seek comfort in each other. It was complimentary, almost. They had both been humiliated, and today had not gone at all well. But slowly coming to terms with today's events was easier together, he had to admit that Ren aided him in not breaking someones neck. And here they were, sitting on a bed together, holding hands. It was like that moment had returned. The soft buzzing of the lights above as Hux listened to Ren and ren listened to Hux. "You need to rest..." he said, although his words held no meaning. He just wanted to sit like this. He could, because he had locked the doors. The small serenity… It returned.

**One could come to believe they shared so much without realising it, that their rivalry became their comfort. They knew where they had each other, they knew what to expect from one another. Ren and his unbalanced nature, Hux and his obsessive fanaticism. When Ren discovered that Hux wasn't objecting, he let his lips touch Hux's cracked knuckles, tasting the copper from the blood, mixed with the skin's saltiness. "You too." Ren countered quietly. He hadn't been intimate with Hux for so long, and now he hungered for it; if just to hold Hux's hand, soothe his wounds for his own selfish desire to be soothed back. If just to lay together, sharing thoughts and feelings. Sex... He was too exhausted and wounded for that right now, and he sensed the same in Hux. Now was not the time for that, not when both were so wounded. No, Ren craved a whole new form of intimacy right now. "Lay with me..."**

Rens lips were soft against his skin, even if it stung. Armitage had never thought about how it’d be like to feel his lips on his skin.. Hux's brain was too tired to think of consequences, or discipline, or why this went against everything he stood for. He was not... rens... babysitter... but he too needed some form of intimacy. He hated that he needed it, but he did. And it made him angry. Sliding down, hux let himself lay next to him, their shoulders touching as they still held hands. This was childish and immature, ridiculous. It showed too much of the human nature hux had abandoned so long ago.

Why couldn't he stop wanting it?

**Ren turned to lay on his side, holding Hux's hand while his free arm embraced Hux around his waist. Bodies pressed tightly together. They shouldn't be wanting it, it could all backfire. But Ren needed comfort and so did Hux. It had been a hellish day for them both and right now, they could be human without being judged. _"Kiss me, general."_**

Hux had grown up never knowing love. Or how to love. Sure, he had read about these human gestures, but he still felt out of place. He did not know what ren expected from a kiss. So he replied honestly, not even considering how absurd this was. "I don't know how." Hux's voice was soft but true, and even if he could never properly receive or express his feelings, he liked ren to know that they were alone... together.

**Being alone together was as safe as it was dangerous for them both. But since they were so exhausted, so utterly exposed and alone, Ren didn't fear that Hux would use this against the sith. Nor did Ren mock Hux for not knowing how to kiss. The general was a machine, trained for only one thing, something Ren began to relate to, causing him once more touch his forbidden thoughts of betraying Snoke. Without letting go of Hux's wounded hand, Ren reached forward, letting their lips meet. It wasn't rough. It was...searching, shyly craving something new. If Hux rejected him now, Ren would surely shatter. How did this general become so vital to him?**

Hux had his eyes closed, feeling rens lips softly touch his. There was a little soothing wave of.. comfort? Was it? That seemed to help him, seemed to smooth away some of his rage. They were at their most vulnerable right now, but they mutually trusted each other so much in these dire situations. Something abstract that ren had just thought had felt familiar. It was not a shape or a word, not even a feeling. Hux couldn't describe it properly, like a thought process or something. It felt like he had that as well. A betraying thought, too. Ren could hopefully feel how much that Kiss had showed hux, it was something special. Intimate. Hux didn’t know why, but feeling this sort of special was nice. Even  in his absolutist views, even he liked seeing himself as special. And ren.

**Ren could feel it, letting himself embrace that knowledge. Not that he was going to use it against Hux, but he wanted to remember. He had pushed their first real intimate contact behind him, and it had left the two men silent and distant. He needed Hux, he needed the organized man to complete him where Ren failed to be stable. Where they at all enemies anymore? Ren could feel himself wanting to bury that axe. Perhaps the kiss was to blame for making Ren think in a broader perspective. But if Hux hadn't placed that tracker on him, just in case, Ren would have been nothing but dust now. Deepening the kiss, Ren ignored his aching muscles when pressing himself closer to Hux. There was something he needed to know. "Did you come for me on your own free will?"**

"...Snoke had ordered me. It would have been my course of action anyways, though. That tracker is relatively expensive." Hux thought as they stopped kissing, simply lying next to each other. He had of course made up that excuse, but Ren was a very valuable asset to this organisation for future purposes. But... Hux wanted to keep that bond. It was the irrational, stubborn part of him that stood against everything Brendol hux had carved out of his bastard son. "We'll be there soon." Hux said breathlessly. He felt so messy and angry and emotional, he needed to drink something. Get a grip.

For now, this was fine, though...

**"How fortunate that the tracker was expensive." Ren smirked. It hadn't been the answer he hoped for, but it would have to do. Having Hux laying in his arms was evidence enough that something between had grown, maybe even become more profound. "When we get there, don't distance yourself again. I won't allow it." Ren closed his eyes, too tired to grimace over his own plea. Surely Snoke was to reprimand them both for their failures, but he couldn't muster the worry now. Hux somehow soothed his worries, even if the anger remained. But he wasn't angry at Hux. Ren hated himself for losing to the girl, for losing the map. But something good had come out of all of this, and that something lay in his arms.**

The tracker had not been expensive and it was a mere excuse, but Ren knew that. "I'm afraid you will have to. Snoke said he will complete your training. Whatever that means." Hux knew that the aftermath would stress him out to no end. But phasma had done her job, tracking them to the resistance base. Once they returned to the finalizer, Hux would obliterate the resistance for good. Hux smelled rens scent again. Such a strong scent, enticing. He felt safe, even if he didn't like how much Ren currently helped him. Sure, he had saved his life...

**Ren tensed up for a moment. Complete his training? Was Snoke going to put him through more torture, illusions and starvation? Was he going to be away from Hux? The last worry caught Ren by surprise. He had never thought it important to be near the general, but things had swiftly changed, hadn't they? Resistance had beat them, and chances were that Luke would join them. "Then I will connect with you." Ren stated firmly, deciding to nuzzle his face against Hux in a childish attempt for affection. He might as well go all out now if they would be separated again. "Then I will come when you are too stressed and in need of relief." I haven't forgotten our deal.**

"You always tense up when I mention the supreme leader." Hux said softly. He quickly checked the time. Twenty minutes...  he didn't want this to end. Something he had never done, ever, in his life. He barely even read about something like this. But it simply felt right and warm... and comfortable. "Our deal is still on, ren..."

**Ren decided to not answer regarding the supreme leader. He couldn't deny what Hux said and both knew it. His attention brought back to the present when the general mentioned his name. "Good, I was starting to wonder if it had been a one-time thing." Ren tried to sound casual, but their deal was his excuse now. An excuse to seek Hux out without having to ask for intimacy, without having to feel weak for reaching out to another person for comfort when he was hurting the most. "You must leave me now, we are soon there." Ren frowned, cursing the clock for being cruel. But before he let go of Hux, Ren pressed his lips against Hux's wounded knuckles, kissing them. He didn't dare to go for the lips with Snoke being so close.**

Hux swallowed. He had never known that affection could soothe this anger like that. Even if the general was still heartbroken, something good had come out of this. "I think you'll be seeing me more often if that is the case. The last seven years just exploded in my face." He said nonchalantly, puffing out his chest again when he got up and straightened his back. "I will have you delivered to the medbay. When you go before Snoke... be careful."

**"You will get your revenge." Ren promised, sitting up as he observed Hux, for a moment admiring how large the man could appear. "And I will be..." Ren moved back down, laying on his back as he stared up at the bright roof. When Hux wasn't at his side anymore, he lost all distractions, thoughts returning to what had happened. Starkiller destroyed, Rey escaped with the map. Han Solo was dead.**

Hux was hit with a surprise wave of sadness and anguish, making him stop in his tracks. Ren had really killed his father, huh? He had felt it, but this was another confirmation. Pulling his leather gloves on, even hux was back in a horrible mood. If a Stormtrooper crossed him now he might just execute him. "Be careful, ren." He said grimly, his voice cold again. A stark contrast to how he had talked with Kylo earlier. He liked to tell ren to be careful, but this was a different sort of 'be careful'. He gave him a last look before letting the door slide open. Ren had provided... a calm he always wished for. But now he had to return to work, his anger swelling as the shuttle landed in the finalizer.

**Ren grimaced to himself. He was comforted by the 'be careful', but it didn't help much against the questions swelling up in him. He was going to be back in Snoke's clutches and he knew what that meant. He had to banish Hux from his mind for as long as Snoke was present, focus on his hatred towards the Resistance. But he would connect with Hux when chance was given, less both of them exploded in too much stress and foul mood.**


End file.
